


Sweeter Than Fiction

by Songbird90



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Bard - Freeform, Bard AU, Bards, Bards - Dragon Age, Circle Mages, Elections, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Intrigue, Labor Unions, MGiT, Mage Rebellion, Mage Rights, Mages (Dragon Age), Maybe - Freeform, Modern Girl in Thedas, Multi, Mutual Pining, Ostwick Circle, Pining, Political Alliances, Political Campaigns, Romance, Slow Burn, Spies, The Chantry, rats in the ranks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-05-21 21:46:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14923403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Songbird90/pseuds/Songbird90
Summary: ‘Jacq, check this out!’ Sam held up the stolen lute and strummed a chord. ‘We’re bards!’Sam grinned, but Jacq stared back in horror.‘No. That’s a stupid plan. Do you even know any songs?’‘I...um. Well, my ex was obsessed with Taylor Swift, so I taught her how to play some of her songs. So, yeah. I can play Taylor Swift songs.’...Two friends, Sam and Jacq, fell asleep in Melbourne, Australia and woke up in Thedas. Sam has a bold and ridiculous plan for how they’re going to survive and get protection from the Inquisition, but it all hangs on whether they can win favour with the as yet unknown Inquisitor.A story of trust, political intrigue, and bullshitting your way to a better tomorrow, lovingly combined with a tale of unexpected romance.This fic is based on a dream I had where a friend and I woke up in Thedas. Therefore I take full responsibility for the main character’s weird plan, because it was dream-me’s actual idea.





	1. ...Ready For It?

Melbourne held a special place in Sam’s heart. She watched the sprawling city grow larger beneath her as her plane descended, visually tracing the criss-crossing patterns of transport networks and familiar skyline.

She’d made this trip from Sydney to Melbourne many times; for work, Uni, but most often to visit her High School friends. A year out from school they each moved to Sydney and Melbourne in turn, desperate to escape their country hometown. They needed to live in a place that was bigger, livelier, and gayer.

On this particular occasion Sam was visiting her friend Jacqui, or as Sam called her, Jacq (Sam was fond of nicknames). Once she landed and took her phone off flight mode, she messaged her friend, ‘YO JACQ I AM IN UR CITY AND EXCITED TO SEE UR PRETTY FACE!!!!’

‘Excited to see YOUR pretty face!’ Jacq replied. ‘You’re getting to Southern Cross at 3 yeah?’

‘Actually, judging by the position of the sun and phase of the moon, I’m running late. I misjudged how long it takes to get to Southern Cross from the airport. SORRY I AM ALWAYS LATE JACQ. I DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW TIME WORKS.’

‘Haha, alright, just message me when you’re on the Skybus.’

‘OK WILL DO. SORRY I SUCK. I OWE YOU SO MUCH BOOZE. I AM THE WORST.’

Sam rushed from the airport terminal and booked a ticket on the Skybus; the overpriced and often overcrowded bus to the city. She dragged herself and her luggage on board and made the 20 minute commute.

Sam craned her neck to get a better look out the window as the bus pulled into Southern Cross Station, searching for Jacq in the crowd. She soon spotted Jacq’s tell-tale black hair and her tote bag that had the gorgeous Dorian Pavus art on it.

She bolted from the bus and ran screaming towards Jacq, who turned to see Sam hurtling towards her and screamed back. They crashed together in a tight hug. This was typical of their reunions.

The train trip from Southern Cross to Jacq’s house was spent catching up on life, griping about the Summer heat and excitedly swapping stories about their Dragon Age OCs.

‘Please show me your sweet boy Seren again when we get to yours, Jacq. I love him so much!’

‘He is very pretty.’

‘Pretty and an adorable puppy! Are you up to any romance scenes with him and Cassandra yet? They’re super cute.’

‘I think I am, yeah. I haven’t done Wicked Eyes Wicked Hearts yet, so there’s the dance scene.’

‘YES PLEASE I WOULD LIKE TO SEE THAT VERY MUCH.’

Jacq booted up the PS4 as soon as they got to her place. Sam ducked into the kitchen and retrieved numerous bottles of liquor and mixer. In a matter of minutes Jacq’s sweet boy Seren Trevelyan was staring back at them from the TV with his stunning purple eyes. His dark brown hair was swept back from his tan features., silverite sword and shield gleaming in the sun.

‘Ah, so pretty. You did a great job, Jacq.’

‘Thank you. He is very nice to look at.’

Over the course of the next few hours, Jacq guided Seren through the Winter Palace, intermittently mincing words with nobles and spraying the blood of Venatori conspirators across various polished surfaces. A lot of booze was consumed by the time she reached Seren’s dance with Cassandra.

‘I can’t fucking believe Cass is straight,’ Sam slurred at the TV. ‘She gives off major Queer vibes.’

‘Y-yep,’ Jacq hiccuped. ‘I mean, I love Seren _now_ , but it sucked making a dude Inquisitor so I could romance Cass.’

‘Right?! Bioware are dirty liars. She’s totally Queer.’

‘And this dance scene is so fucking cute. Her whole romance is perfect and cute. Have I showed you the bit where Seren makes her a surprise picnic and reads her poetry?’ Jacq then cast a sideways smirk at Sam. ‘It’s much better than the Ferelden bog date.’

Sam cringed. ‘Look, I hate _myself_ for romancing Cullen, ok? I hated him SO MUCH in Dragon Age 2. Like seriously, I’d roll up to him at the Gallows yelling “what up TEMPLAR SCUM!” at my TV.’

‘So why did you romance him?’

‘I…’ Sam tried and failed to find the words. ‘I dunno. I feel conflicted about it. But still, it’s gunna be really hard to not romance him in my Kya playthrough.’

‘Kya the rage mage?’

Sam laughed. ‘Yup, that’s the one. Kya “There can be no peace!” Trevelyan. She's fucking ruthless, but that makes her really fun to play. She’s also suuuuper gay, so she’s gunna romance Sera. I haven’t seen the full romance yet, so should be interesting, but still. Fucking Cullen. I hate him but also I wish he was a real person who loved me.’

‘You sure? Cass is way better.’

‘Obviously,’ Sam agreed. ‘But the heart wants what it wants, and mine is a fucking idiot.’

More alcohol was imbibed over the following hours, to the point where their conversation took a turn for the philosophical.

‘Hey Jacq, do you believe in multiverse theory?’

Jacq frowned. ‘Dunno, seems like a cool idea. Why?’

‘Like...like y’know how there’s poss’bly infinite universes? What...what if, in some universe, Cass and Cullen are real people? And Kya and Seren as well? And like, our choices in the game affect their world? I mean, here we are being like “I can do what I want in this game cos there’s no real-life consequences” but what if there _are_ real-life consequences?’

Jacq fixed Sam with a puzzled look. ‘What?’

‘Yeah...yeah I thought I was making sense, but no.’

Jacq let out a long yawn. Sam echoed her yawn instinctually and suddenly realised how tired she was. She stretched and climbed to her feet.

'Time for bed?'

'Yeah, probs for the best. Do you wanna grab some blankets and stuff for the couch? I can help set you up.'

'Pfff fuck that,' Sam said dismissively. 'I'm happy to bunk with you as always, save making up another bed. I warn you though, apparently I snore. That wasn't a fun thing to discover the morning after a hot hook-up.'

Jacq scoffed. 'Don't worry, I do too. We can snore together.'

'Rad, we’ll be a snoring duet!'

They packed up the PS4 and bottles of booze. When they settled into Jacq's bed a little later Sam turned over to stare at her friend.

'Dude, what if in some other universe, _we_ are real people in Thedas?!'

'Fucking go to sleep Sam.'

'Ok, goodnight. Love you.'

'Love you too, weirdo.'

Sam rolled over, facing the window. The faint yellow glow of a street lamp filtered in through a small gap in the blinds. Jacq's room stretched out beneath her, a jagged landscape of objects made indistinguishable by the low light. As she drifted off to sleep she imagined herself riding across the Frostbacks on her favourite Inquisition mount, a dracolisk. She welcomed the chill breeze against her face and the slight sting of snow fall. Her form was adorned with crimson bloodstone armour, emblazoned with the Inquisition crest. She felt free and invincible.

…

Sam was fucking freezing.

She groaned in her barely-awake daze, eyes screwed shut against the sudden bright light streaming in through the window. _December shouldn't be this cold_ , she thought. It was just unnatural.

'Jacq, where’s the blankets? Did you open the blinds? It's too early dude, let’s go back to sleep.'

Jacq didn't answer.

Sam went to reach across the bed to grab the thick doona, but her hand landed in powdery ice. Her eyes flew open as she sat bolt upright.

'DUDE WHAT THE FUCK-'

Her words were swallowed in a wave of shock. The ground beneath her was a bed of thick, sparkling snow. Pine trees dotted the landscape and soaring mountains spread out far into the distance. She was sat on a rocky outcropping. Splayed out in the valley below was what looked to be a medieval-type village. Thatched roofs bowed slightly under the weight of snow, and hunched individuals clothed in thick furs were hobbling around cobblestone streets lined with horse-drawn carts. There were no cars. No power lines. And a large Inquisition banner hung from what could be a village hall.

'Sam!’

Jacq crashed into her line of sight, grabbing her shoulders. Her cheeks were rosy from the cold and her expression was incredulous.

‘WE'RE IN THEDAS!’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello. I don't know what I'm doing.
> 
> Kudos, Comments and Constructive Criticism are highly welcome and I appreciate you so much for reading this!!!
> 
> I hope you've enjoyed this ridiculous romp so far, and I can promise that it's only gonna get weirder.


	2. Teardrops on my Lute

Sweet fuck, they were in Thedas.

Sam’s eyes fixed on the large Inquisition banner hanging from the village hall, rippling slightly in the icy breeze. The undulating eye at its centre stared right back at her.

‘Th-this, this is-’ she stammered. She tried to say actual words, but none were forthcoming.

‘This is fucking hilarious!’

Jacq burst out laughing. She doubled over, positively cackling at the snow.

Sam could do nothing but gawk at her friend. Her mind was racing with a mess of barely coherent thoughts like, how did they get here? Was this some sort of elaborate prank? Had she caused this somehow? Or was she just dreaming?

‘Wait, Jacq,’ she said, a sense of dread slowly piercing her initial shock. ‘This is actually terrible.’

Jacq’s laughter subsided a little.

‘What do you mean? Why?’

‘Well...’ Sam’s brain fought to formulate her growing panic into words. ‘I mean, sure, ok, we’re in Thedas, but where are we in Thedas? And we’re alone. We don’t have any friends here or, or money,’ her eyes grew wide as her speech quickened, her mind jumping 3 or 4 mental leaps ahead at a time. ‘How do we get money? We can’t do anything useful like a trade or whatever,  and, and we don’t know how to fight or defend ourselves…’

Sam felt a cold drip of horror sink into her insides as a terrifying realisation dawned on her. She grabbed Jacq by the shoulders and swung her around.

‘Jacq, there are fucking _dragons_ here!’ she shrieked. ‘We’re gonna die, Jacq! We’re gonna fucking die!’

She began to hyperventilate, suddenly light-headed and swaying on the spot. Jacq lunged forward and grabbed her before she could topple over. Jacq’s grin faded and was replaced with a look of concern. She pulled Sam into a hug.

‘Hey hey, shhh,’ she crooned, patting Sam’s back. ‘It’s ok, it’ll be ok.’

Sam hugged back, clinging tight to the only kind of tangible reality she could handle in the moment. She tucked her head into Jacq’s shoulder and remembered to breathe.

‘We just gotta take things one step at a time, yeah?’

Sam nodded. The bitter cold finally hit her as she noticed that she was shivering violently and her feet were numb. They were still only wearing their Summer pyjamas.

‘First things first,’ Jacq continued. ‘How about we head into the village and find out where we are, then ask how to get to Skyhold? We can get help there.’

‘B-but how? Why would they help us? We’re nobody.’

‘We know everything about this game, right?’ Jacq continued, reassuringly. ‘We know heaps of stuff about the people in the Inquisition, so we can prove we have all kinds of information that would useful to them. Also, depending on when we’ve arrived, we can give them hints about what’s going to happen. We’ll be invaluable!’

Sam pepped up at this. ‘Jacq, that's a great plan! You're a fucking genius!’

‘I know.’

Sam laughed. She then pulled away slightly to look Jacq in the eyes, a great thought having occurred to her.

‘And dude, we’re gonna meet the real Dragon Age characters.’

‘Yeah, oh my god.’

They stood there staring at each other, then finally the excitement took over and they clasped hands and jumped up and down, screaming with delight. Their rukus echoed throughout the valley, unsettling a few birds from the surrounding trees.

‘Holy fuck man, we’re going to meet the actual real-life Dragon Age characters!’

‘This is so amazing, we’re gonna meet Cass and Varric…’

‘And oh my god, Dorian, and Bull!’

‘Ooh, and!’ Jacq said. ‘I wonder who the Inquisitor is!’

‘It could be anyone!’ Sam thought for a moment. ‘Or I guess since we’re here, maybe it’s one of ours? I hope it’s your sweet boy Seren. I wanna meet him so bad!’

‘Me too! That’d be amazing!’

‘Or maybe it’s one of mine…’ Sam’s smile faltered a little bit. ‘What...Jacq, what if it’s Kya?’

Jacq’s smile dropped a little in turn. ‘Oh, um…’

Panic seized Sam’s innards once more. ‘She’s my ruthless rage mage. If it’s Kya we’re fucked. We’ll be fucked Jacq, fucked!’

Sam swooned again. Jacq rushed forward and pulled her into another hug.

‘Hold on, don’t panic,’ she said, patting Sam’s back again reassuringly. ‘One thing at a time, remember?’

‘R-right,’ Sam agreed.

‘So, step one, we find out where we are, then we’ll figure it out from there, ok? ’

Sam nodded. ‘Yep, and we gotta find some warm clothes. I’m dying man.’

‘I’m just glad you were at my house before we ended up here. If it was just me I wouldn’t be wearing pants.’

‘You put on pants for me? Dude, I’m flattered.’

‘You should be. Pants are the worst.’

‘Y-yup, I agree,’ Sam chuckled through chattering teeth.

Jacq slung an arm around her and led her towards the town. They held each other close as they gingerly made their way down the hill, feet aching from the biting snow.

…

Turned out the people of the village were fucking useless.

To their credit they at least told them where they were, which was a few day’s horseback ride from Skyhold. Feeling elated by this news, they pressed the townsfolk for information on the Inquisitor, but all they got in response was:

‘Oh, you mean Inquisitor Trevelyan? The one who fixed the green hole in the sky?’

‘Yes, exactly! What’s their first name? Are they a man, or woman, or..?’

‘Can’t tell you sorry, we don’t get much news in these parts.’

They also received a number of curious looks for their appearance, which must have been very odd for both Thedas and the weather. Sam stared longingly at the thick-coat-cladded locals.

‘Ok, before we do anything else, we gotta find warm clothes.’

‘Sure, but how’re we going to do that? Should we beg?’

‘Yeah I guess so, unless…’

Sam cased their location. They were stood in a dingy alley between a couple of two-storey houses, one of which had a rickety door at the side. Sam peered a little closer. The door was sagged slightly off-kilter and looked as though it wasn’t able to fully close.

‘Wait here and keep a lookout,’ she whispered to Jacq and darted towards the door.

‘Sam wait what are you doing, no, stop!-’

Sam pressed her weight against the door and gave it a firm shove. It protested slightly but then relented, creaking loudly as it opened. Sam flinched but pressed onward. She’d be in and out as soon as possible.

She found herself in a darkened kitchen. Crouching low behind a rough wooden bench she stopped to listen intently. There was the faint sound of movement coming from upstairs but apart from that the house was quiet. She edged forward, finding her way out of the kitchen and into a humble living room.

She surveyed the room and her heart leapt as she spotted a collection of thick furs strung out to dry in front of a blazing fireplace. Sitting beneath them was a collection of thick soled boots, no doubt placed there after their owners returned from trudging through the snow outside.

Sam bundled all of these into her arms and was about to make her exit, except that her eyes fell on a curious instrument in the corner of the room. A sudden wave of inspiration crashed over her and she scooped it up as well. Her mission complete, she flitted out to the alleyway.

She spotted Jacq begrudgingly standing guard at the mouth of the alley. Sam snuck up behind her and threw a fur coat over her. Jacq gave a startled yelp and spun around.

‘How much do you love me?’ Sam inquired innocently.

‘Enough to forgive you for that stupidity. Did anyone see you?’

‘Don’t think so. I was quick like a light.’ Sam winked. Jacq rolled her eyes. Sam handed Jacq the fur pants and boots. ‘Here, take these as well.’

She and Jacq quickly climbed into the more weather appropriate gear. Once they adorned the clothing, Jacq spied the strange instrument Sam had brought with her.

‘Is that...a lute?’

‘It sure is!’ Sam exclaimed excitedly. ‘Ok, so hear me out. We need to find a way to get to Skyhold, right? And we need to have some kind of explanation for how we know so much stuff about the Inquisition.’

‘Yeah ok, but why..?’

‘Jacq, check this out!’ Sam held up the stolen lute and strummed a chord. ‘We’re bards!’

Sam grinned, but Jacq just stared back in horror.

‘No. That’s a stupid plan. Do you even know any songs?’

‘I...um. Well, my ex is obsessed with Taylor Swift, so I taught her how to play some of her songs. So, yeah. I can play Taylor Swift songs.’

Jacq groaned. ‘Sure, ok, you can play Taylor Swift songs, but what do you expect me to do?’

Sam paused. ‘Ah. I hadn’t thought of that. Just a sec!’

Before Jacq could say anything Sam sprinted back to the house she just robbed. She slipped through the rickety side door, slunk through the kitchen and into the sitting room. She performed a quick search and soon found the type of thing she was looking for. She snatched it up and ran back out to Jacq, who was staring at her with a look of bemusement and a touch of pride.

‘I can’t believe how nonchalant you are about stealing stuff. What happened to you? You were such a goody two-shoes in school.’

‘Look, I was a poor Uni student for many years. I got very good at sneaking into events to steal their food.’

Jacq laughed. ‘Alright then. So what did you bring me?’

Sam eagerly held up what looked like a rusted tambourine. Jacq scrunched up her nose at it.

‘Nuh uh, nope. I can’t hold a beat to save my life.’

‘Aw c’mon Jacq, we’re bards, you gotta play something!’

Jacq gave her a pained expression in response.

‘Alright, we’ll workshop it. But in the meantime-’

‘DIRTY THIEVES!’

Sam and Jacq whipped around. There standing in the nearby doorway was a crotchety old woman waving what looked like an iron fire poker at them. She launched herself from the house and hobbled towards them, brandishing the poker in her wake.

‘Fuck, RUN!’ Jacq screamed.

Sam and Jacq took off, skidding and scrambling through cobblestoned streets. Their new leather boots carrying them as far as they could run from the old woman.

Once they were satisfied with the number of streets, buildings and alleyways they put between themselves and the old lady out for their blood, they stopped. Sam felt the pounding ache of a stitch puncturing her sides.

‘I am so fucking unfit,’ she rasped. ‘Seriously, if that woman wasn’t old and slow I’m pretty screwed.’

‘You and me both,’ Jacq replied, also gasping for air.

They took a moment to catch their breath. Thankfully their newly acquired furs were insulating the warmth now radiating from them both, and Sam was grateful to have boots on her feet to stave off frostbite. It was a great comfort to have warm clothing now at least, but she was at a loss as to what to do next. She turned to Jacq.

‘Alright, clothes got, now what?’

Jacq thought for a moment. ‘Well, we gotta lay low for one thing. This town is pretty small and we’re new, so they’re gonna work out we were the ones that stole this shit eventually. And we still have to figure out who the Inquisitor is.’

‘Yeah, hopefully someone in this bumfuck nowhere town knows something.’

‘We can only hope. We could go to a tavern? They’ve got to have travellers passing through here, especially if we’re so close to Skyhold.’

‘Yeah! And we could play our first gig as bards!’

Jacq grimaced. ‘I don’t think you understand how much I hate this idea.’

Sam patted her on the arm. ‘We don’t have any money dude. We may literally have to sing for our supper.’

Jacq grimaced harder. Sam couldn’t help but titter a bit at her look of utmost disgust.

‘It’ll be ok, I promise. Besides, I’ve always wanted to try fantasy-style pub grub and actual, real-life ale.’

‘I hate beer,’ Jacq pouted.

‘Great, then you can be deso driver for the night!’ Sam punched Jacq’s arm playfully. Jacq did not look pleased.

They began their search for a tavern, sticking mostly to side alleys in an effort to be inconspicuous. If it weren’t for the crisp winter air chilling her lungs or the sharply real shapes and edges of her medieval surroundings, Sam would be sure she was dreaming. The faces staring back at her were gritty and weathered, and the structures hemming them in were roughly hewn stone and stained wooden panels. She could never have imagined anything like this.

They scanned signs hanging above doorways for anything that suggested a tavern. The signs creaked in the breeze, exactly as Sam imagined them in her favourite fantasy books. At last they came across one that read ‘The Flying Goat Inn’.

‘This has gotta be it!’

Sam practically shoulder-charged the door open in her excitement. Jacq followed close behind, grabbing the door before it could bash against the wall.

Inside was dimly lit, torches casting a warm orange glow over stout wooden benches, chairs and a stone floor that was caked with dirt. They were instantly hit with scents of stale booze and boiling stew. The place was almost empty except for a few of lone patrons dotted sparsely around the room and a bored-looking elven woman standing behind the bar. Her wild russet hair was tied back with an array of optimistic cotton rags, and her olive skin was dotted with freckles. She barely looked up as they entered and was absentmindedly drying a tankard with a greasy-looking rag. Sam couldn’t help but gasp slightly and excitedly tapped her friend’s arm.

‘Jacq, look!’ she hissed, openly pointing. ‘A real elf!’

‘And what’s the matter with that?’ the woman shot at them from across the room, staring daggers at them. ‘You never seen one of us before?’

Sam choked. The answer was of course, no she hadn’t, but she had to go ahead and be racist in a place that was already cruel to elves.

‘I’m so, so sorry,’ Sam spluttered, rushing the bar. ‘I didn’t mean to cause offence, it’s just that my friend and I-’ Sam looked to Jacq who reluctantly joined her at the bar, eyes on the floor. ‘We...we’re from a very different place,’ Sam finished lamely.

‘Well if there’s any more of that you can find your way back to your “very different place”,’ the bartender huffed. ‘I don’t tolerate any shemlen rubbish in my bar.’

‘Oh absolutely,’ Jacq said, looking up. ‘You’re absolutely right and Sam is really sorry, aren’t you Sam?’ Sam nodded. ‘It won’t happen again.’

The woman’s face softened a little. ‘Good,’ she said, crossing her arms. ‘Now, what can I do for you?’

‘We just wanted to ask a couple things, if that’s ok,’ Jacq said.

‘Oh, and get some ale!’ Sam interjected. Jacq sighed.

‘That I can do.’

The woman took two tankards from under the bar and began filling them from a nearby cask. She set them down on the bar. Sam hopped onto a barstool and scooped up her tankard, taking a generous gulp. It was about as disgusting as she expected. Jacq rightly turned her nose up at hers.

‘So, what do you want to know?’

Jacq took a seat next to Sam, clasping her hands in thought. ‘Well, we-, I guess you could say we’ve been out of the loop for a while. We’re not even sure what year it is.’

‘Y-yeah,’ continued Sam, coughing slightly from another gulp of ale. ‘We’ve been on the road. We’re bards!’ she said, holding up the stolen lute.

The bartender’s eyes narrowed. ‘So you’re travelling bards, and you don’t know what year it is? Aren’t you supposed to be the ones telling tales of the land and singing ballads about our famed heroes?’

‘We, um...’ Sam’s brain scrambled to come up with a cover story. ‘We’re more for the small town gigs, y’know?’ Feeling inspired she leaned in dramatically. ‘We’re actually kinda underground,’ she whispered.

‘Underground, hey? So you’re from Orzammar?’

Jacq snorted. Sam chewed her lower lip, casting Jacq a subtle glare.

‘Sure,’ she said. ‘Let’s go with that.’

‘Well that explains a few things,’ said the bartender. ‘It’s no wonder you’re a little behind, seeing as you’ve literally been living under a rock.’

She pulled up a stool up from behind the bar and settled in.

‘So you must have heard of terrible business at the Conclave a year ago, even underground.’

‘Yeah,’ Sam perked up. ‘The explosion, right? That was a year ago?’

‘That’s right. Well, the Inquisition was formed after that. They’re the ones that have been patching up holes in the veil and picking up after the Chantry’s messes. In fact, that Inquisitor Trevelyan took down the old magister responsible just last month.’

‘You mean Corypheus?’

‘Was that his name?’ the bartender pondered. ‘Well anyway, that’s the story as I know it.’

Sam nodded, thinking. She looked to Jacq. ‘So if Corypheus was defeated last month…’

‘Then we’ve arrived just after the events of the main game, but before Trespasser.’

‘Alright, so that means-’

‘We know about Solas but they don’t, so we do have useful information! We can warn them ahead of time!’

‘Shit man, you’re right. Jacq that’s it, we’re saved!’

Sam slid off her chair and threw her arms around Jacq, almost crying in relief. Jacq chuckled and patted her arm. ‘You see? I told you we’d be ok.’

‘I’m sorry, you’ve lost me,’ the bartender cut in, looking confused.

‘Oh right, sorry,’ said Sam, recovering somewhat. She looked questioningly at Jacq. ‘We’re just really glad because...we need to speak to the Inquisition. It looks like we can offer them our help.’

‘Who is the Inquisitor, by the way?’ Jacq chimed in. ‘We’ve heard their last name is Trevelyan, but what’s their first name? Are they a man or woman or..?’

The bartender shrugged. ‘All I know is they’re called “Inquisitor Trevelyan”, can’t tell you any more than that. We don’t get-’

‘-much news in this place, yeah, we heard. But you’re so close to Skyhold, how do you not know-’

‘Look, the minute those toffs in their stone towers share all their news with us common folk, you let me know,’ the bartender scowled. ‘Until then, that’s all I can tell you. If you’re lucky we might have someone come in tonight on their way from Skyhold, or headed that way. It happens from time to time.’

Jacq and Sam looked to each other, silently weighing their options. It seemed like  this was the best chance they had for the moment. They reached a decision through a series of raised eyebrows, a shrug and some nodding.

‘That sounds like our best bet,’ said Sam. ‘Is it alright if we hang around here for a while?’

The bartender eyed their near-empty tankards; one that Sam had drunk heartily and the other that Sam had swiped from Jacq. ‘Sure,’ she smirked. ‘Would you like to start a tab?’

‘Ah,’ Sam shifted uncomfortably in her seat. ‘I’m so sorry I didn’t mention this earlier, but we um, we don’t actually have any money.’

The bartender’s jaw dropped. A fierce look shot across her face as she slammed her fist on the bar. The few patrons dotted around the room jumped in their seats.

‘You mean to tell me you walked into my bar with no coin and expected free drinks?!’ she exclaimed. ‘I run a business, not a charity. Get out!’

Sam and Jacq scrambled up off their seats and stumbled backwards as the bartender advanced on them.

‘Wait!’ Sam pleaded. She held up the lute. ‘We’re bards, remember? We can pay for drinks, and maybe food and lodging, with...music?’ she finished weakly.

The bartender glared at them. She pointed at the door.

‘Out!’

‘Please,’ said Jacq. ‘We were mugged on our way here. We’re lucky to have the clothes on our back.’ She glanced sideways at Sam who struggled to keep a straight face. ‘We’ll do anything. Dishes, cook, clean, anything, just please let us stay.’

The bartender went to yell at them again but caught herself. She stared them down.

‘So you’re saying you’ll do all the work just for food and lodging?’

‘There’s a lot I’d do for free food to be honest,’ Sam offered.

‘Yeah, same,’ Jacq agreed.

The bartender continued to glare at them, then she heaved a heavy sigh.

‘Alright.’

She went back behind bar, sat down and poured herself a drink.

‘Here’s how this is going to go,’ she took a swig. ‘You do the work I tell you, maybe play a couple of your tunes later tonight to keep the patrons entertained, and you can have your meal and board. Understood?’

Sam and Jacq nodded.

‘Good. So, what do I call you two?’

Sam was a little taken aback. ‘Oh right sorry, forgot to properly introduce ourselves. I’m Sam and this is Jacq. What’s your name?’

‘Varissa, but for tonight you can call me “boss”. Now get to work.’

Varissa wasted no time in directing them to said work. For hours they cooked,  cleaned, and tended to every whim of both Varissa and her patrons. It was gruelling work, despite there being less than a handful of customers in the tavern at any given time. Sam suspected that Varissa was using this opportunity to get work done around the place she wouldn’t normally have time for.

One such job had Sam and Jacq on their hands and knees, scrubbing the kitchen floor. Varissa assured them that she would call for them if anyone outside of the local crowd walked into the bar, but otherwise they were set to keep scrubbing until her say so.

Sam lost track of time. She felt like she sunk an eternity into the sodden stonework beneath her as she scrubbed away layer upon layer of dirt. Jacq seemed to be faring about the same. Their instructions had been to scrub every inch of the floor clean, but for all their efforts they only seemed to have progressed a few inches.

‘This is hard fucking work, Jacq,’ Sam said, wiping her brow with the back of her hand. ‘I’m not cut out for medieval cleaning gigs. I hope we find a way to Skyhold soon.’

‘Yeah, let’s hope someone from Skyhold comes in tonight.’ Jacq removed her glasses and wiped away the fog clouding them. ‘Maybe we can hitch a ride there.’

‘That would be great. I mean, how else do we get there? I guess we’d just have to ask for directions, but it’s what, a few days ride away? Could take a while with no horses,’ Sam’s eyes widened in horror. ‘Does that mean we’d have to camp out? In the cold?’ she shivered at the thought. ‘Can’t say I’m a fan.’

‘Me neither. We’d have to buy tents or something so we don’t die.’

‘Yep, so we’d have to buy tents with all that money we don’t have.’

Sam’s shoulders slumped. The relief she felt in finding they had valuable intel was waning. They had to get to Skyhold first, and even then…

‘Hey, you ok?’ Jacq asked, noticing Sam had gone strangely quiet. When Sam didn’t answer she reached over to pat her back. ‘I know things look pretty bleak right now, but I’m sure we’ll get to Skyhold somehow. And we’re gonna meet the real Dragon Age characters, remember?’

‘Yeah, that’s pretty cool,’ Sam said but continued to stare at the floor. ‘Jacq, what if Kya is the Inquisitor?’

Jacq paused. She rubbed circles into Sam’s back, considering. ‘Well, she couldn’t be too bad could she? You said she romances Sera, right? Sera can sense bullshit better than anyone, she wouldn’t go for someone who’s a complete arsehole.’

‘This is true,’ Sam admitted. ‘But still, here’s hoping it’s your sweet boy Seren, yeah?’

‘Right, and Sera is his best friend, so we know he’s a good sort.’

‘And Cassandra loves him, so he’s got to be a quality human.’

‘Truth. So, fingers crossed?’

‘Fingers, toes, eyes; I’m crossing everything.’

‘I’ll tell you who’s cross!’ Varissa called back to them from the bar. ‘It’s me! Enough of the chit chat, get back to work.’

Sam and Jacq sighed in unison. They begrudgingly picked up their brushes and began tearing into the floor again.

‘Yes boss,’ they chorused.

They slowly progressed further into the kitchen on their hands and knees. Sam ripped into the stone floor as though it had personally offended her, pouring her anxious energy into the work. She paused only to get up to serve drinks and bowls of stew to incoming patrons. Sam and Jacq took this in turns, mostly to fairly divvy out the darkened stares they each received from Varissa. She seemed to have stationed herself permanently at the bar and continued to serve herself drinks. She was becoming increasingly intoxicated.

Despite her animosity towards them, Varissa seemed to be having the most fun out of everyone in the tavern. It was obvious that drinking on the job was a rare indulgence for her and she was relishing it as best she could. She greeted everyone who came in with a grin and enthusiastic small talk.

Sam was in the far corner of the room dolling out bowls of bland stew to a couple of snow-beaten locals when she heard a commotion burst into the tavern. She looked up to see a sizable gathering of curious individuals silhouetted in the doorway.

Their leader was the most conspicuous. He stood an easy 7ft tall and was built, Sam  couldn’t think of a better term, like a brick shithouse. In contrast to everyone in town his oddly grey skin was barely covered up with an ensemble of billowing striped pants, boots and little more that a leather harness strapped across his enormous torso. Two large horns jutted out from either side of his skull, ends pointing up. Sam gasped.

‘First round is on me,’ the figure said in a familiar deep baritone. ‘Then the rest is on Krem.’

Sam heard a faint shout of protest coming from the back of the group, but the rest cheered as they made their way inside and settled themselves into the nearest table. Sam all but slammed the spoons she was holding onto the table in front of the locals she was servings and sprinted back into the kitchen.

‘Jacq!’ she yelled. ‘It’s Bull!’

‘I know right,’ Jacq grunted, not even looking up. ‘This is fucking bullshit. We should be getting paid for all the work we’re doing.’

‘No, look!’

Sam pulled Jacq to her feet and dragged her to the front of the kitchen, pointing. Jacq spotted the rowdy crew of mercenaries.

‘Oh my god,’ she said. ‘It’s The Iron Bull and the Chargers.’

‘Thank fuck, right? There’s our ticket to Skyhold!’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a significant amount of life happened between now and when I posted the first chapter of this fic. I started a new job, I'm moving house, but I'm way too excited to put of writing this story until all the productive things get done. I am a responsible adult. 
> 
> I hope you like this chapter. Kudos, comments and constructive criticism are highly appreciated and thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Side-note: do non-Australian places use the term "deso driver"? If you're confused by this it means designated driver, or, the poor sap who's not allowed to drink on a night out because they have to drive everyone home. I manage to avoid becoming a deso driver by not knowing how to drive. I owe my friends so much.


	3. Style

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is called "Style" because boy oh boy, Sam and Jacq sure do have a lot of it! (heh)

The Iron Bull was fucking huge in person.

Sam had figured as much, given that his character in Inquisition was a solid foot taller than everyone else and twice as wide, but it was an altogether different matter to see it first hand. He cut an imposing figure against the quaint backdrop of the tavern as he strode towards the bar. Sam and Jacq darted back into the kitchen and huddled up behind the door to listen.

‘Bull!’ they hear Varissa yell, definitely too loud for a sober person. ‘It’s been too long! The Inquisition got you run ragged chasing demons again?’

They heard the bar creak as Bull leaned onto it with his beefy forearms. 

‘No, no, nothing so fun these days,’ he said, a distinct edge of bitterness coating his words. ‘We were just working some security detail, that’s all. We’re headed back in the morning. And yourself? I gotta say it’s nice to see you take a load off for once.’

Varissa guffawed. 

‘Oh you don’t know the half of it,’ she slapped the bar. ‘I had a couple lowlifes come in today thinking they could rob me blind. No coin, they told me, even after I served them drinks!’

Sam shrunk a bit from the guilt. It sounded pretty bad phrased like that.

‘And then, and then!’ Varissa continued. ‘They turn around and say to me “we’re bards, we can pay for food and board with music”, the nerve!’

Sam cringed. It sounded really, really bad phrased like that.

Bull chuckled. ‘So what did you do, throw them out?’

‘No! I put them to work,’ Varissa huffed. ‘Said they were happy so long as they’re fed and have a place to stay. So I have the night off.’

They heard the chink of glass that suggested Varissa had cheersed herself with another glass on the bar. 

Bull’s voice grew quiet as he leaned in close. ‘And they’re bards, you say. Have you heard them play?’

Varissa gave an exasperated noise. ‘I don’t know if I care to, but I said they could play tonight to keep the patrons happy. Why you ask? Want me to bring them out to play for you?’

Jacq rounded on Sam, furiously shaking her head. 

‘Yeah, that’d be great.’

Jacq took off on a silent tirade, breathing obscenities and gesticulating wildly in Sam’s direction. Sam mouthed frenzied apologies.

‘Alright.’ Varissa’s chair scraped against the floor as she stood up. ‘I’ll go get them.’

Sam and Jacq flailed helplessly at each other before snatching up their brushes and rushing back to their original cleaning positions. A moment later the door of the kitchen banged open.

‘Listen up you two,’ Varissa slurred at them, grabbing the kitchen door to keep herself steady. ‘A good friend of mine just walked in and he’s requested a show. He’s also one of your Skyhold types you wanted to speak to. Get out there and play him something, and he might tell you what you want to know.’

She stumbled back out of the kitchen and let the door swing shut behind her. 

For a moment Sam and Jacq sat motionless, staring at each other. Then Jacq launched to her feet and began frantically pacing around the room,  Sam following close behind. 

‘We can’t do this, what the fuck were you thinking?’ 

Sam scurried to keep up. ‘Wait Jacq, this is our chance!’

‘No way. Maybe it’s  _ your _ chance. You can actually sing, I sound like a couple of cats going at it in a back alley.’  

‘That is  _ not _ true!’ Sam protested. ‘I heard you singing along to P!NK that one time, you’ve got a great voice!’

‘Whatever, doesn’t matter, I’m not singing.’

‘Fine, fine, ok,’ Sam conceded. ‘But this is our moment! We endear ourselves to Bull and the Chargers, they take us to Skyhold, then we get to meet the Inquisitor, easy as that!’

‘Easy?!’ Jacq squeaked. ‘They’re expecting us to sing something! What are you gonna sing? Since this is all your fault, you come up something.’

Sam fell silent for a moment, madly racking her brain. Pretty much all she knew how to play were Taylor Swift songs, and they needed something fun, entertaining, and appealed to Bull in particular. Then it came to her.

‘I’ve got the perfect song!’

Jacq crossed her arms. ‘Alright, what is it?’

‘Well, we gotta impress Bull, right?’ It was Sam’s turn to pace back and forth. ‘There are two things Bull loves more than anything in the world, even more than fighting and dragons, and fighting dragons.’

‘Uh huh, and what are they?’

‘Bull loves, a) soppy romance, and b) poking fun at Krem. So we need a corny love song we can sing  _ at _ Krem.’ Sam gave Jacq a sly grin. ‘And what was Taylor Swift’s break-out hit?’

‘Oh no.’

‘ _ It’s a love story, baby just say-’ _

‘No!’

‘But Jacq!’ Sam whined. ‘It’ll be amazing, trust me! Love Story is a super sweet song. Plus it’s basically the story of Romeo and Juliet, just without the bloodshed and teen suicide.’

‘Seriously? I have no idea what the words are. I probably know more of the actual play than the song,’ Jacq grumbled. ‘So ok sure, you sing Love Story, but what am I gonna do?’

Sam’s face lit up. She held out her hands to clasp Jacq’s. 

‘I have just the thing.’

…

Sam started to worry about how much time they’d spent faffing about in the kitchen, but once she emerged to tell Varissa they were ready to go on she didn’t seem too fussed. Varissa was more indifferent than anything else, as though she was just waiting for their performance to be over. The only thing she paid any mind to was Sam requesting she vacate the bar, looking reluctant to leave the easily accessible casks of ale.

Peering out from behind the kitchen door Sam saw that Bull and the Chargers were crowded around the tavern bench closest to the bar, the wood sagging slightly under the weight of many tankards. It looked as though the round Bull promised them had been delivered, and then some. 

She spotted Bull knocking back a flagon of undoubtedly potent alcohol, roaring with laughter as he thumped Krem on the back. It looked as though Krem just downed the same drink but he wasn’t taking it as well, if the coughing and spluttering was anything to go by. Rocky was sliding Skinner some coin across the table, settling a bet of some kind. Dalish was leaning on her staff as she fell back with laughter, Stitches lunging to grab her before she slid off the bench. Grim’s face was blank, but Sam could see the edge of a smile beginning to crack his stoic facade.

She ducked back into the kitchen to face Jacq, who she’d dressed up in a chef’s hat styled as a beret and a rag tied into a cravat. She herself wore a couple of aprons strung back-to-back to make a dress and a mop head covering her short hair, in an effort to look more girly. Her leather boots detracted from the look somewhat, but she’d make it work.

‘Ok Jacq, are you ready?’

Jacq looked past her to the door, pouting. ‘Not even a little bit. Are you sure this is going to work?’

Sam clapped Jacq’s shoulders.

‘No,’ she said. ‘But let’s give it a red hot go!’

Jacq groaned. ‘I hate you so much.’

‘No you don’t,’ Sam said innocently. 

‘No,’ Jacq relented. ‘I don’t.’

Sam beamed. She went to the kitchen door to take another peek. The stage was set, the lute tuned and her nerves were reaching a crescendo. 

‘Alright Jacq, you’re on first!’

Jacq glared at her. She adjusted her makeshift beret, took a deep breath and headed for the door. 

‘Break a leg!’ Sam whispered as Jacq stepped out into the tavern. Sam kept the door open just a crack to watch. 

Jacq took herself, feet dragging reluctantly, to the front of the bar. She cleared her throat. 

‘Friends, fine people of Thedas, lend me your ears!’ she spoke with a Shakespearean flair. 

A few heads shot up around the room, eyes widening at the odd display. Bull and the Chargers quieted down a little, Bull tapping the arms of his men to get them to pay attention. 

Jacq gulped. She pressed on.

‘Long ago, in fair Verona where we lay our scene, two lovers, Romeo and Juliet, were kept apart by their feuding families, because, um,’ Jacq took a moment to remember the words. ‘Civil blood makes civil hands unclean.’

Dalish tilted her head. Varissa rolled her eyes. Grim looked riveted. 

‘Now, we need a handsome young gentleman from the audience to play our dear Romeo. Let’s see…’ Jacq made a show of scanning the audience. ‘Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?’

Just as predicted, Bull grasped Krem’s shoulder and called out. ‘Here he is! We’ve got the perfect one!’

‘Excellent!’ Jacq exclaimed. 

Krem sputtered in response. ‘No no, Chief, if anyone knows about forbidden love, it’s you-’ but Krem’s objections were quickly drowned out as the Chargers erupted into cheers. 

‘Come now, don’t be shy,’ Jacq said, beckoning him forward. ‘Take a seat right here at the front, there you go.’

Jacq ushered Krem to a spot on the end of one the benches closest to the bar, facing him towards the front. He sat there with his hands balled into fists on his lap, his cheeks taking on a pinkish glow. 

‘And to play the role of Juliet,’ Jacq continued, gesturing back towards the kitchen door. Sam held her breath as she waited for her cue. 

‘We have our most sensational, stunning and stupendous songstress,’ Jacq grinned. Sam could tell she was starting to enjoy hamming it up. ‘Coming to you direct from Orzammar, please welcome to the stage, Sam!’

Seizing the moment as best she could, Sam burst out of the kitchen, holding her arms aloft to welcome the hearty laughter that greeted her appearance. She swept forward, lute in hand, and vaulted herself up to sit on top of the bar. She crossed her legs, cradled the lute in her lap, and fixed Krem a sultry stare. She strummed her first chord and began to sing.

_ ‘We were both young when I first saw you…’ _

Jacq was just off to the side, giving intermittent beats to the rusted tambourine Sam had gifted her. Throughout the song Sam focused most of her attention on Krem, but would also made dramatic flourishes to the rest of the room. On the third or fourth line of  _ ‘baby just say yes’  _ they even prompted the crowd to cry ‘yes!’ along with her.

When it reached the crux of the piece, Sam slid off the bar and steadily approached Krem. She tried not to crack up at Krem’s expression of impending doom while all around him the Chargers beat their fists on the table, with shouts of ‘ooooh!’ and wolf-whistling. 

_ ‘Romeo save me, I’ve been feeling so alone _

_ I keep waiting for you but you never come...’ _

She drew closer, Krem swallowed as he looked up at her.

_ ‘Is this in my head? I don’t know what to think _

_ He knelt to the ground-’  _ Sam knelt at Krem’s feet.  _ ‘And pulled out a ring and said -  _

_ Marry me Juliet...’ _

At the key change Jacq came up behind Sam and threw a fistful of flour into the air, a cloud of white billowing all around them. It was a pretty lame attempt at fireworks, but the crowd seemed pleased, cackling and clapping at the sight. 

Sam got to her feet again and faced the room for the final chorus of the song.

_ ‘...you’ll never have to be alone _

_ I love you and that’s all I really know _

_ I talked to your Dad, go pick out a white dress, _

_ It’s a love story baby just say-’ _

‘YES!’ boomed a chorus of drunk voices.

Sam couldn’t help but chuckle a little, but then she turned to Krem to sing the gentle coda.

_ ‘Because we were both young when I first saw you.’ _

Krem turned beet red. All around him the Chargers were giving him encouraging pats on the back as they clapped and cheered. 

The small crowd of Chargers and town locals gave them a round of applause, coupled with generous laughter. They appeared to be entertained at the very least, so Sam counted that as a win. She held out her hand aloft for Jacq and they took a bow. 

‘They’re actually not s’bad,’ Varissa hiccuped, clapping in spite of herself.

When Sam and Jacq rose from the bow they saw Bull stand.

‘Hey Varissa!’ he called out. ‘How about a round of drinks for the bards? I’d say they’ve earned it.’

‘Earned squat!’ Varissa retorted, but her face was cracking a grin. ‘It’s my night off! They want drinks? They can get ‘em themselves.’

Bull chuckled. 

‘Alright,’ he said. He came up to meet Sam and Jacq at the bar and dropped a pile of coin into Jacq’s hands. 

‘That’s for you and my boys. Come drink with us, I wanna hear more about you fine bards.’

Bull flicked them a wry smile before going back to take his seat at the Chargers’ table. Jacq turned her head slowly to look at Sam.

‘What...what just happened?’

Sam met her gaze, her face a picture of glee.

‘Congrats Jacq, we’re officially bards!’

Jacq’s eyes widened. She shifted the weight of coin in her hands, looking from it, to the Chargers, and then back to Sam.

‘Well,’ she said. ‘Fuck.’ 

...

‘Y’know the full story of Romeo and Juliet is actually really fuckin’ tragic.’

Jacq was drunk. Sam wasn’t surprised, considering they’d both downed a few tankards by that point, not to mention a shot of that horrifying shit Bull kept on him. She was faring ok, but Jacq the lightweight, she was truly pissed.

‘I would like to hear more of this tragic story,’ Skinner said. She leaned across the table towards Jacq, absentmindedly twirling a dagger in one hand. ‘You said something about blood and the hands?’

‘Oh yeah,’ Jacq replied. ‘But that comes later. It all starts when Romeo and his buddy Mercutio go to a party ‘cause Romeo wants to bang this chick called Rosalind, but she’s like “ew no, I can do so much better”...’

The Chargers were rapt with attention. Rocky hoisted himself up to sit on top of the table, Stitches jostling him to one side so he could still see. Dalish was cradling her chin and looking wistfully at Jacq, likely half listening and half in a drunken haze. Krem had managed to shrug off his sheepish visage from earlier, probably with the help of all the ale he drank from the near-empty tankard he was clutching with both hands. Grim was decidedly facing the other way, but Sam noticed his ear was cocked in Jacq’s direction. 

‘...then Romeo sees Juliet and she’s wearing these angel wings and he’s like “wow she’s so beautiful”, and she sees him on the other side of a fish tank and she’s like “he’s pretty, I’d tap that”. Then Mercutio’s like “I’m too gay for this shit” and he bounces…’

Sam tried to stifle a giggle. Jacq, bless her, was talking about the Baz Luhrmann Romeo+Juliet movie. She settled herself in for what was undoubtedly going to be fun ride, but just as she took another gulp of ale she felt a nudge against her shoulder. She looked up at the source, which was the towering profile of Iron Bull sitting beside her.

‘You’re an interesting pair of bards,’ he said, his voice lowered so as not to interrupt Jacq’s story. ‘Can’t say I’ve heard a song like the one you played. What brings you to a nowhere town like this?’

Sam coughed a little into her ale. This was the opening she’d been looking for. She took a moment to compose herself before answering.

‘We, we ah-’ she faltered. She cleared her throat and started again. ‘Well, we were on our way to Skyhold, but we got mugged. All we have are our clothes and instruments, so we’re hoping to hitch a ride there.’

‘Is that right?’ Bull pondered. ‘Yeah, there’s always bandits around, sneaky bastards. Sorry to hear you got sprung,’ he patted her arm with his giant hand. ‘But Skyhold’s an interesting choice. There’s not a lot of work for bards outside the big cities, what makes you want to go there?’

Sam took a moment to think about her response. She didn’t want to reveal too much in case Bull wrote her off as insane, but seeing as Bull used to be a Ben Hassrath spy, she figured he’d be able to tell if she was lying anyway. She scratched her brow to hide her face, knowing that the internal debate she was having would definitely show. Eventually she settled on telling the truth, if not the whole truth.  

‘As much as we would  _ love _ to play for the Inquisition,’ she began. ‘The real reason we’re going is because we have very important information we need to give the Inquisitor.’

‘Really?’ Bull scoffed, sounding skeptical. ‘You know the Inquisition is a big deal, right? We’ve got more than a couple of bards like yourselves keeping tabs on things. What makes you think you know something the Inquisitor doesn’t?’

Sam bit her lip. She tried her level best to remain calm and not think about the fact that her entire plan was now dependent on this conversation. He had to believe her, or else Sam and Jacq would be left to fend for themselves in the cold dark nowhere they found themselves in. 

She lifted her head up, looking Bull directly in the eye.

‘Trust me,’ she said, pouring every ounce of sincerity she had into her words. ‘Nobody in Thedas knows the things Jacq and I do.’

She held Bull’s gaze steadfast. His head tilted to one side, considering her. Sam’s heartbeat pummelled against her chest and she could feel sweat gathering under her arms and on her brow, but she refused to look away. 

After what felt like an eternity, Bull broke eye contact. Sam watched him stare down the length of the table, observing the Charges still in the grips of Jacq’s dramatic retelling.

‘...and then Leonardo DiCaprio downs the poison-’

‘Hold on,’ Stitches interrupted, looking bemused. ‘I thought you said his name was Romeo?’

‘I know what I said!’ Jacq brushed him off. ‘Anyway, so Leo dunks the poison, but then blonde-what’s-her-, Juliet, wakes up she’s like-’

‘Chargers!’ Bull cut across her. The Chargers all started and spun around. Sam held her breath. ‘Things have got boring around Skyhold lately, don’t you think? I reckon we could use these bards to liven it up. Whaddya say boys, should we take them with us?’

A cheer rang around the table. Sam let out the breath she was holding, relief flooding through her.

‘Right,’ said Bull. ‘Now finish your drinks and turn in, we’ve got a lot of ground to cover tomorrow.’

‘Wait!’ Skinner protested. ‘I want to hear more of the bloodshed!’

Jacq laughed. ‘Oh babe, you’re gonna  _ love _ Hamlet!’ 

Bull shook his head. ‘Later. You can hear the rest at Skyhold.’

Skinner scowled at him. She knocked back her drink, slammed the tankard on the table and stormed off. The other Chargers gradually finished up their own drinks and peeled off, finding their way upstairs to their rest. By this point all of the locals had cleared the tavern and Varissa was lying passed out on the bar. Eventually only Jacq, Sam and Bull were left in the midst of a quiet room. 

‘So,’ Bull said. ‘You two want to speak to Kya, is that right?’

Sam blinked. Jacq met Sam’s eyes, her face reflecting the creeping dread seeping into her being. Perhaps she misheard him, surely he couldn’t mean...

‘Uh, who sorry?’ Jacq asked. Sam crossed her fingers under the table.

‘Kya Trevelyan. You know, the Inquisitor?’ 

Sam felt Jacq kick her in the shin. She looked as though she was barely concealing her rage, and Sam knew she’d have words for her later. This was exactly what they’d feared since landing here, and it was all Sam’s goddamn fault. 

‘So anyway,’ Bull continued. ‘Sam told me you guys want to meet her. I can set that up if you like.’

Sam nodded, consciously having to force herself to do so. 

‘Yeah, yeah thank you Bull,’ she mused. ‘That’s exactly what we wanted.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, ok, so I gotta share something.
> 
> I started this fic as a gift for my friend who introduced me to Dragon Age. She's the one who was in the dream I had where she and I woke up in Thedas, and I had the brilliant [not really] idea of passing ourselves off as bards.
> 
> Initially I was just going to write the thing, send her the link and be like 'ta da! got you a present!' I posted the first chapter thinking literally no-one was going to see it, but then it got some kudos and even a comment - shoutout to jennserr - thank you so much!!!
> 
> AND THEN through a fantastical turn of events, my friend and I now live together. So now, poor thing, I talk to her about this fic ALL THE TIME, which means I definitely can't take full credit for this or ensuing chapters. I can also guarantee that all the best ideas are hers.
> 
> It's become this beautiful thing we're sharing, and I'm so stoked to share it with you as well. I really hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Although I have to say, this thing may have started as 100% self-insert, but it's going to diverge very quickly. I would make for a very boring protagonist, simply because: I'm a coward. If it was actually me in this situation I would probably never leave the tavern and resign myself to scrubbing the kitchen floor for the rest of my days. I mean, you can see it in the second chapter - I landed in Thedas and I wasn't like 'wow what a fantastic adventure!' I was like 'WE'RE GONNA FUCKING DIE.' However, in saying that, I'm still gonna draw a lot of inspiration from my own life, simply because: I'm lazy.
> 
> But the point where my dream ended was when Bull showed up to the tavern, so we're now flying free babey! 
> 
> I hope you find this story fun and entertaining, but also I don't wanna pull a fast one on you - I gotta warn you that there's gonna be some angst in here too. Firstly because, well, I did say in the blurb that this story contains political intrigue and politics is 90% pain, but also because the more I talk about this story with my friend the more I care about it and Get Ideas. So if that's not your jam that's totally cool. I am hella stoked for all the silliness, but yes. There will also be Sads. Just a heads up.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this!!! Kudos, comments and constructive criticism are all highly welcome, and if you got any questions you'd prefer to be anon or wanna come hang out with me you can find me on tumblr @heyscience [also if you wanna scream with me about your Dragon Age OCs that's one of my all-time fave activities so]
> 
> Much love and thank you and you're great!


	4. I Knew You Were Trouble

The sun was very bright the next day and Sam did not care for it. She was hungover.

The most difficult thing, however, was getting on the fucking horse. Bull was kind enough to shuffle things around a bit so she and Jacq could ride a couple of the pack horses, but it turned out that horse-riding was not their strong suit.

‘This is a lot harder than it looks,’ said Sam, trying for the 100th time to hoist herself up onto the saddle. ‘How do they make it look so smooth in the movies?’

‘Fucked if I know,’ Jacq replied. She looked around, checking to see if the Chargers were still busy with their travel preparations. ‘But we gotta figure it out quick before they can see we have no idea what we’re doing.’

‘Ok, ok,’ Sam panted. She abandoned her efforts for a moment. ‘How did we do this the last time? Remember Tim’s 16th birthday?’

‘You mean that time when Tim put us on his most “docile” horses that ended up bolting on us and we were almost thrown off?’

‘The very same.’

Jacq tapped her chin, thinking. ‘I’m pretty sure we had a step ladder, because we were noobs and we suck at this.’

‘Fuck.’

Sam darted a look over her shoulder. The Chargers were beginning to mount their horses. They’d have to be quick or else they’d be left behind.

‘Alright, c’mon Jacq, I’ll give you a boost.’

She held out her palms with her fingers locked together, ready to give Jacq a foothold. Jacq cringed but gingerly placed her foot in Sam’s grasp. She pushed Jacq up so she could reach the stirrup.

‘Ok, now I think you just have to bellyflop onto the saddle,’ Jacq lay across the saddle. ‘Then you swing your legs around the back, that’s it. It’s basically how I drag myself out of a swimming pool, because I’m weak.’

Jacq sat herself upright. The process wasn’t particularly graceful, but the end result looked cool.

‘Nice Jacq, you look ready to charge into battle!’

‘Well, maybe not on a pack horse, but otherwise yeah,’ said a voice above Sam’s shoulder. She started. The Iron Bull had somehow slipped into their presence.

‘I couldn’t help but notice,’ he smirked. ‘You two don’t ride much, do you?’

‘We, we um…’ Sam fumbled.

‘Were you watching us the whole time?’ Jacq asked.

‘Yeah.’

Sam cringed. ‘Well, I sincerely apologise for that display. We have ridden a total of once in our lives, and that experience didn’t go well.’

‘Really? What happened?’

‘So, a friend of ours took us to his grandparents’ riding school for his 16th birthday,’ Jacq explained. ‘And he put us on a couple of the chill, older horses. We went riding late in the day, when the classes were over. But that’s also when they let the horses out of the stables to go run in the paddock.’

‘Turns out, if horses see other horses running, they do the same,’ Sam winced. ‘We needed a ladder just to fucking get on the horses, and then we suddenly had to learn how to gallop. We got very close to falling off.’

‘Truly, it’s a miracle we’re still alive,’ Jacq said.

Bull chuckled. ‘Well, you don’t have to worry about galloping on the road to Skyhold. It’s a smooth trip, but we gotta get you on the horses first.’

Bull shifted over to Sam and bodily picked her up. She gave a small yelp of surprised, but soon sighed in relief as Bull placed her gently on the saddle.

‘There you go,’ he said. ‘Now I’ll just get saddled up and we can be on our way.’

He turned and left. Sam looked to Jacq, puzzled.

‘Saddled up?’ she repeated. ‘Do you...I mean, I hope this isn’t offensive, but do you think Bull can actually ride a horse? Wouldn’t he break its spine?’

‘Dunno,’ Jacq shrugged. ‘Guess we’ll find out.’

A moment later Bull reappeared, sitting atop an enormous hippo-like beast. The hulking form of a battle nug stomped proudly before them, cutting a path through the Charges to head up the group.

Sam and Jacq sat gaping at it for several seconds.

‘Oh my god,’ Jacq whispered. ‘I want one.’

The journey to Skyhold was wild and beautiful.

Having lived for about a decade in the big smoke, Sam wasn’t used to being so immersed in nature. The absence of traffic noise and city bustle was almost eerie at first. Hundreds of trees fanned out in all directions, branches glistening with sparkling icicles. Small furry creatures darted in and out of sight between trees. The snowy mountains towered above them, far higher than any she’d seen before. She felt dwarfed and awestruck.

The other realities of travelling in the wilderness, however, were less than ideal. Sam was always cold, the spare tent she shared with Jacq was barely keeping out the elements, and heading out in the middle of the night to pee was a borderline traumatic experience. By the final day of travel Sam and Jacq were both keen to get to Skyhold already.

‘I can’t believe we’ve travelled days on the road to Skyhold,’ Jacq said, steering her horse to walk abreast with Sam’s. ‘And not once have we sung the song.’

‘Huh?’ replied Sam, brow furrowing. ‘What song?’

‘You know,’ Jacq said. _‘Shadows fall, and hope has fled..._ the awkward Mother Giselle number they sing after Haven. I’ve had it in my head this whole trip.’

Sam gasped excitedly. ‘Oh yeah, I know the one you mean! Hang on a sec,’ she swung the lute around that she was carrying on her back. ‘I can play it!’

‘Seriously?’ Jacq scoffed. ‘You can play The Dawn Will Come?’

‘You underestimate my obsession with this game, Jacq.’

Sam played a couple bars of the opening chords and they began to sing.

_‘Shadows fall and hope has fled,_

_Steel your heart, the dawn will come…’_

They had a great time with it, over-enunciating the words and adding operatic flair to the verse. The version Sam played was quicker and more upbeat than the original, and with their enthusiastic rendition they soon caught the attention of Krem who was riding nearby. He cantered over.

‘You know this song?’ he asked. ‘First time I heard it was when a Chantry woman got people singing it after we had to bail Haven. Everyone knew the words somehow. Where did you learn it?’

Sam and Jacq eyed each other.

‘It’s a church song, Krem,’ Jacq brushed off. ‘Nobody knows the words, they just pretend they do while singing vaguely in tune.’

Sam snorted. She was glad that Jacq the Lapsed Catholic pulled through for them in their time of need.

‘Church?’ Krem said. ‘Oh, you mean the Chantry?’

‘Uh yeah, Chantry, that’s what I meant.’

Krem nodded thoughtfully. ‘That explains why I’d never heard it. I’m from-’

‘Oh that’s right, you’re from Tevinter!’ Jacq cut in. ‘Different Chantry, different Divine, right?’

Krem blinked. ‘How did you..?’

‘It’s ok Krem, let me teach you the words!’ Sam blurted out in a hurry. She noticed Krem worrying at the Kirkwall crest etched into his breastplate and determined to change the subject.

Jacq raised an eyebrow at her. ‘You know _all_ the words?’

‘My obsession, Jacq. Do not underestimate it,’ Sam replied.

Over the next ten minutes or so Sam taught them the song. One by one the Chargers curiously turned to look back at them, slowly joining in as they rode on. Barely any of them were familiar with the song bar the one time they’d heard it. Grim however surprised them all with his robust addition to their chorus.

Finally Bull cocked an ear back to listen in.

‘I like this version a lot better,’ he said. ‘Strong, it’d your heart pumping before a battle. We don’t need any of that slow and sombre crap.’

Bull added his booming voice to their chorus and the song echoed across the surrounding hills.

_‘Bare your blade and raise it high,_

_Stand your ground, the dawn will come._

_The night is long and the path is dark,_

_Look to the sky for one day soon_

_The dawn will come!’_

Soon the path led them to crest a hill and the enormous visage of Skyhold unfolded before them. Sam gasped. She ushered her horse to a standstill so she could drink in the sight.

‘Skyhold,’ she breathed.

Jacq pulled up beside her. ‘Gee thanks for the tip, Solas.’

Sam’s face contorted into a look of scandalised fury. ‘You shut your fucking face,’ she retorted. ‘Honestly, how dare.’

Jacq simply chuckled in response.

They steered the horses toward the rest of the group and with a gentle tap of their legs against flanks they trotted along to catch up with the others.

***~*~*~*~*~*~***

The bridge leading to the Skyhold gates lay sturdy and snow-encrusted beneath the clopping hooves of Sam’s horse, but it may as well have been suspended in mid air, for she felt as though she were floating along in a dream-like haze. The ancient castle loomed ahead, familiar and striking all at once. She threaded together the impossible sight, weaving a memory of a fantasy world with the present day reality. She visually traced the heavy metal gates, fluttering Inquisition banners and time-worn stonework. How could this possibly be real?

This, above all things, made her question if perhaps she was dreaming, or if her mind was playing tricks on her. She pinched herself several times.

‘Hey, are you ok?’ Jacq’s question punctured her thoughts.

Sam mentally gave herself a slap to wake up. ‘Yeah, yeah,’ she recovered. ‘I’m just fucking cold is all.’

Stitches trotted up beside her. ‘Not to worry love,’ he soothed. ‘We’re headed straight for the Herald’s rest, just as soon as we hand the horses back to Dennet. We’ll sit you by the fire to warm your outsides and get you some booze into you to warm your insides.’

Sam smiled. ‘Thanks for that, Stitches.’

‘Anytime.’ He patted her arm then continued on to the gate.

‘I like him,’ Jacq said. ‘Let’s keep him around.’

The stone arch yawned above as they passed through the gates. Sam released the breath she didn’t realise she was holding as they clopped across the threshold, entering Skyhold proper. The castle was a lot bigger than it was in the game, which stood to reason because adding extra space would only serve to cause headaches for the game developers. Sam felt uneasy as she realised that she might not fully know her way around, despite scouring the castle with her Inquisitor many times to find the highest points to jump from, just to revel in the lack of fall damage. She figured she had better not leap off parapets this time round.

They handed over the horses to Dennet who met them by the gates, a couple of his assistants in tow. Sam figured there must be a lot more staff around Skyhold than in the game as well. They then found their way to the staircase that ducked under the pathway leading up to the main hall and rounded a corner to a large training yard. Kya’s choice. It appeared that every detail Sam built in her fictional character was present. Kya opted for the training yard over healing facilities, as she preferred the appearance of strength over the practical needs of her soldiers. Why did Sam have to create such a callous character? Why???

The Herald’s Rest greeted them with a cheery air, spilling light into the gathering dusk. It was again much larger than she was accustomed to seeing, no doubt to accommodate the lodgings she knew must exist in a tavern like this. It was a welcome sight, and the promised warmth of the interior had her rushing for the door.

The comforting surrounds of chatter and boozy laughter of gathered throng inside soon enveloped them. They headed straight for the bar and collected flagons of ale from the stout dwarven bartender Cabot and settled into some stools by the fire. There was a somewhat surprising absence of song from the bard Maryden. Sam looked around to see she was in fact not present. She turned to Stitches.

‘Maryden not in tonight?’ she asked.

‘What, do all bards know each other?’ Rocky chimed in. ‘But no, Maryden’s not been here for a while. We had to give her a...polite suggestion to go on tour.’

‘We were worried our friend Sera might actually kill her,’ Dalish whispered behind her hand. ‘Maryden kept playing this song about her and she said it was creepy.’

Jacq chortled. ‘Yeah, she hated that song. Didn’t she break her lute because of it?’

Bull raised his brow. ‘You two know Sera? Are you some of her Red Jennys or something?’

Sam choked on her ale. They were caught out again. ‘No, not Red Jennys,’ she said. ‘We, um...well, Sera’s kind of famous, yeah? She helped save the world, and she’s with the Inquisitor to boot.’

Bull gave a slightly pained expression. ‘Well, not anymore,’ he said, taking a quick look over his shoulder. ‘Best not to mention it. They both seem pretty cut up about it.’

Sam felt the cold dread creeping back. Jacq raised her eyebrows at her and she returned the look with a grimace. Sera was the perfect foil for Kya’s ruthlessness, so this did not bode well.

As if summoned by their hushed conversation, Sera suddenly appeared, bounding towards them from the foot of the stairs leading up to her living nook. Sam furiously tapped Jacq’s arm, excitement broiling within her at the sight of yet another beloved Dragon Age character. Jacq responded by giving her hand an enthusiastic but stealthy squeeze.

‘Thought I heard you were back,’ Sera quipped, punching Bull’s arm. ‘Could hear you lot a mile off.’ She pointed at Bull’s tankard. ‘Where’s mine?’

Bull grappled her in a one-armed hug. Sera gave protest at first but then returned the hug with fierce gusto. She waved at the others and then her eyes fell on Sam and Jacq.

‘Who are you, then? Bull’s not collected more strays has he?’

‘Hey, I only collect the best people. This here is Sam and Jacq, they’re bards. We thought they could play for us for a while since Maryden, uh, left,’ he said carefully.

‘Yeah alright,’ Sera agreed. She turned back to Sam and Jacq. ‘But if you write a song about me I’ll have you.’

Sam nodded rapidly. ‘Yeah totally we understand like Maryden’s song was super creepy and we would never so anyway great to meet you,’ she spurted out in a barely coherent stream.

Sera frowned. ‘How’d you know..? Is she singing it everywhere now?’

‘Nah, we just know a lot of things,’ Jacq shrugged innocently. ‘We’re bards, it’s what we  do, right?’

Again Sam was grateful for Jacq’s quick thinking.

‘Yeah whatever,’ Sera said. ‘So you two playing tonight or what?’

Sam heard Jacq give a soft groan and could almost feel her glare boring into the back of her head. ‘Sure,’ she said. ‘Just, ah, after we get settled in. Long trip and all.’

‘It’s good, yeah?’ Sera, donning a grin. ‘Things have got real quiet round here since Inky-, the Inquisitor got all serious on us.’ Her smile faltered a little.

Sam could almost feel the hurt she saw in Sera’s eyes tugging at her heartstrings. This wasn’t right, and dangit she was going to do everything she could to lift the mood in this place.

She flipped to Jacq. ‘It’s huddle time.’ Sam skidded her stool a ways away from the rest of the group, beckoning Jacq to join. Jacq scooted up beside her. ‘This shit is bad, man. Sera is one of the few people who can keep Kya off her megafocused hate and destruction train. We gotta dial up the romantic atmosphere or else things could really go to shit. So I have another song idea.’

Jacq gave her a look. ‘Dude, I have my booze, I have my cosy spot by the fire, I don’t want to put on any theatrics tonight.’

‘That’s fair,’ Sam said. ‘In fact, I think it’d probably be better if you stay here, spin a yarn, and hopefully that’ll draw in a few more punters. Then I can play.’

Jacq considered the proposal. ‘Alright,’ she said. ‘On one condition,’ she held up her tankard. ‘I do not want this to be empty at any point in the night.’

Sam beamed. ‘Alright, no worries.’

Bull, who seemed to overhear at least little of their conversation, leant in close to Sam. ‘And if you like, I’ll bring in Kya. Then you can talk to her after. That work for you?’

Sam felt her stomach churn, nerves rising up within her at the thought of finally meeting her rage mage. ‘Perfect,’ she said, trying her best to appear unfazed. ‘Just, first I think we might need some more Dutch courage.’

‘More what?’

Sam forgot that Thedas was devoid of the country of Holland. ‘Ah, booze. I mean booze,’ she explained. ‘I’d get it myself but y’know, still poor,’ she said sheepishly.

Bull laughed. ‘No problem with that, the Chargers have a running tab here. Just tell Cabot you’re with us.’

Sam became starry-eyed. ‘You’re the best Bull.’

Bull chuckled. ‘That’s why I’m the Chief of this crew.’

Sam collected Jacq’s tankard and headed for the bar, refilling it and her own.

The more Sam plied Jacq with booze, the more amenable she seemed to the idea of telling a story. Skinner may have helped this along a bit.

‘You promised to finish the story of all the blood and the gore, what was it, Romeo and Juliet?’

Jacq snorted. ‘Nah, not tonight. First you gotta hear about the next thrilling adventure of our pretty boy Leonardo Dicaprio. The greatest love story ever told.’

‘And what’s that?’ Sam whispered to Jacq.

‘Pff what else would it be? It’s Titanic.’

Sam laughed. ‘What is with this lowkey obsession of yours with young Leo?’

‘Look, he’s the super cute boy of every bi girl’s sexual awakening, ok? I have fond memories.’

And so Jacq launched into the dramatic retelling of the movie Titanic, complete with mostly consistent references to Jack, as opposed his actor Leonardo Dicaprio.

It was undoubtedly a compelling tale, and soon enough quite a number of the bar patrons started listening in. Word had spread that a couple of bards  arrived at the Herald’s Rest, so curiosity and delight seemed to spark in the onlookers.

Bull had somehow managed to slip out at some point (Sam’s mind boggled at how he managed to do this) because he reappeared toward the end of the story with a couple of others in tow. Sam gasped, her heart skipping at the sight of two figures she knew very well.

Jacq must have noticed too, because she suddenly coughed a little into her ale. She would definitely have recognised at least one of the figures. Nonetheless she made a speedy recovery and pressed onward.

‘So the ship was sinking and Leo and Rose were floating in the ocean, but there was definitely enough room on that goddamn door for the two of them!’ Jacq exclaimed. ‘But oh no, Jack wanted to make a noble sacrifice or some shit. So of course Rose was all “no Jack don’t leave me!” but he froze into an icicle and sank into the sea, swallowed into the depths of his man-feelings.’

There were a couple of titters around the room. It was the perfect release of tension for a point in the story that had some of those gathered in tears.

Jacq rounded off the tale with the thrilling finish of Rose’s rescue, and then Rose as an elderly woman reminiscing about her old hot boy lover. There was a hearty applause and some sniffles to greet the story’s end. Jacq stood from her seat and bowed.

‘Thank you, thank you ladies and gentlemen, I’m here all week.’

Gradually the crowd returned to their drinks, chatter starting up again, including praise for Jacq’s story. It was then that Sam hit Jacq’s arm and pointed out the couple huddled next to Bull at the other end of the room.

‘Look Jacq, it’s Dorian!’

‘Yeah I saw,’ Jacq said, making a shushing motion, but her face split into a grin. ‘Holy shit, he looks just like the game! Like how does he keep his hair so perfect, how?’

Sam and Jacq gripped each other’s hands, struggling with the urge to squeal and rush over to him. Jacq cast another look their way.

‘But who’s that with him? Don’t remember seeing her in the game.’

At that moment Bull came back. He reached for a stool and groaned as he sat back down. He turned to Sam and Jacq.

‘Kya can spare some time after the show. No more than five minutes she said, but I wouldn’t let that worry you. She likes to talk tough, but if you have something important to say she’ll make time.’

Sam nodded. So the woman chatting with Dorian across the way was definitely Kya Trevelyan. She looked exactly as Sam imagined her, with her ashy brown skin, brown doe eyes and silky black hair that was cropped into a style similar to Krem’s. A subtle tattoo of two curves ending in three dots curled around her left eye, a not-so-subtle symbol of a broken circle. _Shaved and painted for war_ , Sam remembered scrawling into her backstory. She had to admit, Kya looked pretty badass up close.

She was shook out of her reverie by Jacq punching her in the knee. ‘Dude,’ she hissed. ‘You were gonna play something, right? What’re you gonna play?’

Sam gave her head a subtle shake. ‘Oh yeah, um, so you know Taylor Swift’s second biggest hit starting out? You Belong With Me?’

Jacq cringed. ‘You mean the slut-shamey one?’

‘Yeah, but, look, it’ll make sense.’

‘Not to them it won’t, they don’t know what a cheerleader is.' 

‘But, man, we just gotta focus on the lovey dovey stuff, ok?’

‘Alright,’ Jacq conceded. ‘But just remember, I’m not singing along and please don’t make me use that tambourine again.’

Sam couldn’t help but look a little hurt. ‘But I stole it just for you,’ she whimpered.

Dalish suddenly crashed into their conversation. ‘C’mon play us a song!’

The Chargers caught on and began chanting ‘Song! Song! Song!’ All except for Krem, who looked at Sam with trepidation. Sam got to her feet and reached over to pat him on the shoulder.

‘Don’t worry,’ she said. ‘I promise I won’t do that to you again, fun as it was.’

Bull groaned in disappointment but it couldn’t drown out the relief flooding Krem’s face. She leant in to his ear. ‘Let’s get Bull real good some time, hey?’

Krem smirked and gave her the thumbs up. Sam tapped her nose at him, careful to do so with her back turned to Bull.

She picked up the lute and held it to her ear, giving the strings a few cautious plucks to make sure the thing was still in tune. Satisfied, she turned to the room at large.

‘Gentlefolk of Skyhold,’ she began. ‘Thank you for hosting my friend and I in this lovely establishment. Let’s hear it again for Jacq, who regaled us all with her famous tale of love and loss, Titanic!’

Jacq raised an eyebrow at her. Sam attempted a subtle wink by way of response. They were bards after all, they had to build up their brand. 

‘I have a special song for you tonight, a song of longing and truest love. It’s called You Belong With Me, and it goes a little something like this...

_‘You’re on the phone to your girlfriend she’s upset…’_

It occurred to Sam that quite a lot of this song might not make sense to the people of Thedas, but that wasn’t the important bit. She searched the crowd for Sera, who she found spread out on the hearth in front of the fire and cradling a bottle of booze, and Kya, who was leaning against a wooden beam on the far side of the room with her arms crossed. Sam cast furtive glances between them as she reached the last bridge of the song.

_‘You can see that I’m the one who understands you,_

_Been here all along so why can’t you see_

_You belong with me’_

She sang her heart out for the final chorus, hoping against all hopes that the message would sink in with her target audience. It appealed to the majority of the crowd at least, earning her a few enthusiastic cheers and whistles. She strum a dramatic chord to finish and the room thundered with applause. Sam took a modest bow and couldn’t help but feel giddy with the praise.

When the noise died down again she plonked herself next to Jacq, poking her arm.

‘See?’ she said. ‘Told you Taylor Swift has some bangers!’

Jacq shrugged. ‘Well, I guess you could say they’re kinda catchy. Still, I’m not singing any of them.’

‘That’s ok, you’ve got a good thing going with this story telling thing. Look at us being proper bards!’

Jacq rolled her eyes and returned to her tankard.

A moment later Sam felt someone tap her on the shoulder.

‘You wanted to speak with me?’ said a familiar steely voice above her.

Sam started. She shot to her feet, spinning around. ‘Kya!’ she exclaimed. She reached back for Jacq and pulled her up to stand next to her. ‘I-I mean, ah, Miss-‘

‘Your Worship,’ Jacqcut in. Sam subtly squeezed her arm in gratitude. ‘Um, thank you for agreeing to meet with us.’

Kya’s eyes narrowed. She appeared to be sizing them up. Sam puffed out her chest in an effort to look more confident.  

‘It’s no trouble,’ Kya responded, her probing gaze suddenly replaced with a look of jarring congeniality. ‘I can spare time for talented performers such as yourselves.’

Sam took a moment to feel puzzled, the compliment at odds with her expectations. She then remembered that, while Kya could be cruel in deed, she was a smooth operator. This must be how she managed to get such high court approval at Halamshiral. A second earlier Sam was preparing to get shivved, but now she felt somewhat at ease. Kya was an evil genius.

‘We, thanks so much,’ Jacq threw in for them, equally bemused.

‘Please, take a walk with me,’ Kya said, indicating the tavern door.

Sam and Jacq nodded and followed as she led them out of the tavern. On the way they spotted Bull and Dorian having a borderline inappropriate reunion, no doubt more public than Dorian would have liked, but the type Bull delighted in. Sam stifled a giggle as they stepped out into the frigid night air.

She felt light-headed. This was it, their big shot. She wished she was a little more sober for it, but on the other hand the booze dulled her nerves, so for that she was thankful.

The training yard now held an unsettling stillness, in sharp contrast to its earlier bustle of soldiers kicking up dust in the sparring rings. The noise of the tavern petered out as Kya led them further toward the castle. She came to a stop at the foot of the stairway leading up to the Great Hall, drawing them over to a small huddle of trees nestled beside the steps. She made cast a cursory glance around them, no doubt to make sure no one was around to listen in to their conversation. Satisfied, she turned back to face them. 

‘Do not waste my time,’ she stated. An instruction and a warning, with the keen edge of a threat piercing through.

Sam and Jacq started. All airs and graces in Kya’s demeanor had vanished. They looked at each other, silently wishing for the other to speak first. Sam finally took the plunge. Kya was her OC after all, she should probably take the lead on this.

‘We know heaps of stuff about you and the Inquisition, and we have important information that can help you. Something that no-one else could possibly know.’

‘No-one else?’ Kya repeated. ‘What makes you so sure?’

‘We, well-‘

‘We’re bards,’ offered Jacq. ‘We drink and we know things.’

Sam snorted, trying to pass it off as a cough. The Game of Thrones reference was perfect.

‘It doesn’t matter how we know,’ Sam continued. ‘It’s what we know that’s important, and what we know is that the whole world is in danger.’

Kya’s brow furrowed. She shook her head. ‘We surpassed that threat already, Corypheus has been defeated. What do you suppose could break the world this time?’

‘It’s Solas. We know who he really is and what he’s planning.’

‘Solas, planning world destruction? You must be joking,’ Kya laughed.

‘It’s true! He wants to tear down the veil and-‘

Kya took a step forward to bear down on Sam. She was barely a few inches taller than her but her intimidating presence made her seem like a mountain.

‘If you two know so much,’ Kya hissed. ‘Tell me, where is Solas right now?’

Sam’s mind raced. They didn’t know where Solas was at this point in the story, but-

‘We don’t know where he is right now,’ Jacq jumped in. ‘But we know where he’s going to be. In, like, a couple of years or so. Give or take.’

Kya raised her eyebrows at them, hands on her hips. She then let out a long sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose.

‘Absolutely useless,’ she said into her palm. ‘Bull must have got sloppy since his time in the Ben-Hassrath, what was he thinking?’

She straightened and moved away from Sam’s immediate vicinity. She adopted her former amiable visage, although there was now a distinctly curt manner about it.

‘Well, your little story was entertaining to say the least. However, you may want to tweak your tales a little to make them less farcical. Your audience can only suspend so much disbelief.’ She gave an exaggerated yawn and stretched, looking behind her to the stairs leading up to the Great Hall. ‘I appreciate the humorous distraction, but I must turn in for the night. I trust that Bull has arranged your lodgings, but if he failed to do so in his haste to retire to his own with Dorian, I imagine we can spare a patch of hay for you both in the stables,’ she smirked. ‘I’m sure Blackwall and our other beasts would appreciate _your_ company.’

Sam gaped at Kya as she breezed away from them with a careless grace. Fucking _ouch_.

‘How dare she,’ Jacq spat in disgust.

Sam felt the world closing in all around her. This was their last chance, their only hope to cement a place here, and it was slipping away from her into the night.

‘Fuck, how do we prove to her that we know our shit?’

Sam’s mind grasped at wild ideas. They needed to show Kya they knew something concrete, indisputable, and possibly deeply personal. Perhaps something that only the character’s creator would know.

‘Ok, I have an idea,’ she said. ‘It could work, or it could get us killed, but either way it’s worth a try.' 

‘Get us killed?! Sam, wait, what the fuck-‘

Sam was already bolting for the stairs. Thankfully Kya hadn’t got too far, just passing the small landing and beginning the second set of stairs to the main hall. The wind rushing past roared in Sam’s ears as she leapt up the stairs two at a time. She skidded to a halt at the landing.

‘Kyana!’ she called out.

Kya froze. It was a name she hadn’t heard since she was a little girl, and one that she was determined nobody knew about. Sam hoped that her next words would finally break through.

‘You’re a special girl, Kyana,’ she said with measured emphasis. ‘I know Lydia always thought so.’

Sam stood stock still, holding her breath. Jacq met her on the landing and looked expectedly between the two.

Moments passed, Kya still facing the other way. Then eventually Sam saw her shoulders relax and she slowly turned and padded her way back down the steps. She returned to the landing and considered Sam and Jacq with an almost detached curiosity. It was unsettling.

‘You know, I believed Bull when he said I would find you an interesting pair,’ she almost whispered, quiet enough that only they would be able to hear her. ‘But it seems you are determined simply to annoy me.’

Her expression turned cold, fixing them with a searing glare. ‘You can offer nothing to the Inquisition. I want you both gone at dawn.’

Sam drew in breath to speak, to plead her case, but she was too late. Kya had already stalked away and soon disappeared into the depths of the castle.

‘Well fuck, guess that went to shit,’ said Jacq. ‘What did you mean, by the way? Who’s Lydia, and why does she think Kya’s so special?’

‘Um, she…’ Sam felt numb, barely able to form words. She let out a long breath, feeling like as though her lifeforce was draining away from her. ‘It doesn’t matter, it didn’t work.’

Jacq took her arm and gave it a gentle tug. ‘Come on,’ she said. ‘Let’s see if Bull remembered to book us a couple of beds. If not, we can set up by the fireplace. There’s no way I’m going down to the stables with fucking Blackwall.’

They walked, arm in arm, back to the Herald’s Rest. Bull had in fact forgotten to see to their sleeping arrangements, but their main man Stitches came through for them. They dragged their feet up the flights of stairs and found their way to a twin bedroom, collapsing into the mercifully thick woolen sheets. They kicked off their shoes but didn’t bother undressing, the booze and emotional rollercoaster they’d been on settling into their systems, leaving them exhausted.

‘I’ve never woken up at dawn in my life,’ Jacq told the ceiling. ‘How does she expect us to leave so early?’

‘No idea,’ replied Sam, her eyes closed. ‘The first of many questions I guess. Like, what the fuck are we gonna do now, Jacq?’

‘Well, first things first, I’m not getting up til at least half noon. Fuck Kya.’

Sam chuckled. ‘Yeah, like how do they even do the whole “rise at dawn” thing without alarm clocks? The mind boggles.’

‘Exactly,’ Jacq agreed. ‘So we have no choice but to sleep in, and then we can figure it out from there.' 

‘Sounds good,’ Sam nodded, hoping she sounded more confident than she felt. ‘Goodnight Jacq, love you.’

‘Love you too Sam, sweet dreams.’

Sam settled into an uneasy sleep, her brain kind enough to switch off after only a few minutes of wallowing in her colossal failure. Leaving Skyhold would mean they’d have to figure shit out by themselves. She wasn’t at all keen on that prospect.

***~*~*~*~*~*~***

Sam awoke to the feeling of a cold and clammy hand wrapped tight around her mouth. She instinctually thrashed at her blankets, only to be met with more hands clamping down on her limbs to keep her still. Her eyes flew open. She could barely make out anything in the dark room, with only a slight shade of moonlight peering in from the window. A blur of shadowy figures grappled both her and Jacq on the bed beside her. She felt a thick hemp rope entangle her wrists, securing them in a firm hold. The figure holding her mouth rasped into her ear.

‘Do not make a sound.’

The man pulled her to her feet and grasped her upper arm in an iron grip. Sam offered no resistance, barely conscious enough to process what was happening. Jacq was similarly wrenched up to stand beside her, her own burly guard attaching themselves to her person.

A hooded figure approached them, their facial features totally obscured by the dim light. ‘You’re coming with us,’ they said, their voice carrying a familiar lilt. ‘I recommend that you do not try to escape, or else an arrow will find your back sooner than you can spare a thought for freedom.’

Without warning a dark cotton sack was shoved over Sam’s head, removing her vision entirely. She gasped in shock, loud enough to earn her a quick jab in the gut. She resolved to follow their instructions regarding silence from then on out.

Another guard grabbed her other arm and the two half dragged, half carried her into the night, their mysterious destination looming ahead of them. Sam tried as best she could to listen for signs of their route through Skyhold, but there was little to tell apart from the difference between walking across dirt, then grass, and then entering a stone building. They must have found their way into a narrow corridor because her guards peeled away and she felt the familiar profile of Jacq bump into her.

‘So,’ Jacq whispered. ‘Turns out your plan is gonna get us killed after all.’

Sam groaned quietly. ‘I’m so sorry man, I thought-’

‘I didn’t even get to see Cassandra’s biceps,’ Jacq huffed. ‘That’s the best part of this goddamn game. You didn’t even stop to consider the biceps!’

They heard a heavy wooden door creak open and a deathly chill streaked through their furs as they entered the next room. The cotton sacks were torn away from their faces and they were finally able to look around.

They knew exactly where they were. For all the drama and secrecy that led them to this point, it was no surprise to find themselves in the underground Skyhold jail.

‘Hey look, they fixed the hole in the wall,’ Jacq remarked, indicating a spot where they were accustomed to seeing wreckage poking through the back of one of the cells.

Their guards pushed them forward to continue on to the door at the far side of the room. Sam felt her stomach drop as she realised where they were headed, and sure enough, a guard opened the door and they were met with a thin ledge bordering an enormous plunge into the valley, caused by what must have been a huge explosion long ago. The guards prodded them to the very edge, confronting them with the cavernous depths below, before spinning them around.

The few remaining guards made their way back through the door. Then emerging from the shadows, were Kya and the hooded figure. The mystery figure lifted their hood to reveal the pale soft face of Leliana.

A shot of icy wind blew up from behind Sam and Jacq, leaving them shivering and huddling together for warmth. Kya and Leliana strode towards them with, their arms folded across their chests. Sam and Jacq still had their hands tied and they were standing on the edge of a giant ravine. Their situation was precarious to say the least.

‘Thank you for agreeing to meet with us,’ Kya Trevelyan smirked. ‘Now, tell us what you know.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyyoooooo I got another chapter done, shit YES!
> 
> I have been very sick all week so I am glad that I could at least get more of my fic written. I hope you like this chapter!
> 
> Also I do, in fact, know how to play The Dawn Will Come. But not on the lute. On the ukulele. Like a cool person. My version is a little more bright and faster than the original, so if you'd like to hear my weird lil ukulele cover you can check it out here: https://soundcloud.com/heyscience/the-dawn-will-come-ukulele
> 
> (side note my voice isn't super great but it gets the job done well enough so)
> 
> Also also the chapter number has increased because of reasons.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, and as always kudos, comments and constructive criticism are all highly welcome! You're great :)))))))


	5. Sparks Fly

 Sam didn’t like to admit it, but she was afraid of heights.

Her back may be turned to the long drop behind her, but it did nothing to quell the panicked screaming echoing through her brain.

Kya and Leliana were looking at them expectantly. Sam noticed that Kya had a staff strapped across her back and a bow was strung over Leliana’s shoulder, a quiver of arrows ready at her hip.

Sam turned to Jacq, who was glaring at her, and then back to their captors. Her mouth felt bone dry. She wasn’t sure she’d be able to speak, even if she wanted to.

‘Please understand,’ Kya said. ‘That if you don’t speak up we will simply dispose of you like so much useless garbage.’

Kya would do it. Sam knew she would. Especially given how she threw Kya’s deepest secret in her face earlier. Sam fucked up.

‘Answer me!’ Kya yelled. She shot forward and took a fistful of Sam’s furs, pushing her so far to the edge that her heels teetered on the brink. Sam couldn’t help but yelp in fear

‘Oh don’t you fucking-’ Jacq moved to grab at Kya, but in a flash Leliana drew an arrow to her throat.

‘You would be wise not to test our patience,’ Leliana said calmly, her bow set in place with practised ease. This was a hardened Leliana, one Sam was sure would release that arrow without a second thought.

Jacq scowled at Kya. ‘Don’t you think threatening us is a little counterproductive?’ she said. ‘You’re gonna have a hard time interrogating us if we’re dead at the bottom of the Frostbacks.’

‘It would matter very little if you had nothing of use to say!’ Kya shot back at her. She grasped Sam’s furs with both hands and shook her. ‘You said your information was valuable, now prove to me it’s worth sparing your life! 

‘Uh, yeah, ok,’ Sam wheezed, her breath coming in short gasps. ‘So basically, um, Solas is the Dread Wolf, and he created the veil, but now he wants to destroy it, and if we don’t stop him we’re all gunna die.’

Sam shut her eyes tight, clenching her jaw in anticipation of the worst (as if it would somehow help her brace for impact). She waited a heart-stopping few moments before bravely cracking an eye open.

Kya looked incredulous. Thankfully her grip hadn’t loosened on Sam’s furs, however, her deepening skeptical look was ominous.

‘Solas, the infamous _Dread Wolf?_ As in, the monster from Dalish legend?’ she mocked. ‘Are you quite serious?’

‘Shit yeah we are!’ Jacq retorted. ‘You met Mythal, right? Don’t you reckon there could be others like her around?’

‘How did you-!’

‘Fucking think about it!’ Jacq cut her off. ‘The Conclave explodes and some loner-Fade-expert _just_ _happens_ to show up, and he also _just happens_ to know how the Anchor works.’

‘Well, that’s just-’

‘He told you about the orb! The _ancient elvhen_ _orb_ that Corypheus used to blow a hole in the sky! Is it too much of a stretch to believe Solas knew about it because _he’s an ancient fucking elf?!’_

‘You watch your-!’

‘ _He led you to Skyhold!’_ Jacq threw her bound hands in the air. ‘You know, the ‘Castle of Convenience’ sitting atop ‘Nowhere Mountain’? How d’you reckon he stumbled across this place? Just casually trekked up a mountain one day and Boom! insta-fortress?! Get fucked.’

Kya gaped at them. She was clearly taken aback, likely because Jacq ripped her a new one all while planted inches from certain death. Sam felt inspired (but no less shit scared). She met Kya’s eyes with quaking determination.

‘Solas is the root cause of all of this,’ she said. ‘He led the Venatori to the orb so they’d give it to Corypheus; the idea being that he’d use it to create the Breach, and then the explosion would kill him. You fucked it up for him by waltzing in and grabbing the orb, but Corypheus didn’t die because he was like, quasi-immortal, because of the Blight, or something...’ Sam looked helplessly at Jacq, who waved a hand as if to say “close enough”.

‘Solas didn’t plan on Corypheus surviving and wreaking havoc, but he did want the Breach to happen and the power to use that orb. He was pretty pissed that you got that power instead,’ Jacq aided. ‘He was the one who created the veil, just like in Dalish legend, but now he regrets it and wants to tear it down.’

‘So…’ Sam gulped. ‘Yeah, that’s basically it.’

She took a moment to breathe, though it was more like panting. She kept her eyes open this time, frantically scanning Kya’s face for any sign that her frenzied blubbering made some sort of sense. That it piqued her interest.

Kya’s expression betrayed very little, but Sam knew her brain would be ticking along faster than an unforgiving metronome. There was a prolonged silence. Sam shivered against the chilling updraft, her teeth chattering.

Then Kya tugged Sam away from the brink and released her furs. Sam’s heart leapt, but was immediately quashed as Kya drew the staff slung across her back. Kya’s grip was white knuckled as she stared Sam down, who could not look away from the knife tipped staff she recognised - a gift, from Vivienne on the day Kya had handed over a mundane wyvern heart in place of the rare snowy one she promised.

Kya had never given the staff back to the Enchanter after her betrayal was revealed. It served as a reminder of a victory only her enemy would understand.

The ornate golden maw of a dragon pressed into Sam’s chest as Kya levelled the staff at her. Sam did very much not want a lightning bolt to punch a hole through her torso. Lightning was Kya’s weapon of choice, as it’s _painful and precise._

This was a horrifying development.

‘How do you know all this?’ Kya’s voice seemed to have dropped an octave. Her eyes were narrowed and her stance was firm.

Sam blanked. How the shit could they even begin to explain? She suspected that simply saying “we’re bards!” wouldn’t cut it this time, but how _could_ they know all this? Particularly the parts they weren’t there for, like meeting Mythal, Solas telling Kya about the orb, and fucking, them knowing Solas’s goals.

She looked to Jacq, who looked nonplussed, seeming to be just as stumped as Sam was. They couldn’t tell the truth, that was for sure. They didn’t want to be written off as insane.

Kya let out a growl of frustration. Her face contorted into a snarl as she opened her mouth for what Sam was sure would be an incantation spelling her doom.

‘We’ve been here before!’ she blurted out. It was somewhat true, having visited the castle using a pixelated proxy.  

Kya’s words caught. She prodded her staff at Sam. ‘Here? In Skyhold?’

‘No, _here,’_ Sam pressed. ‘We’ve been here and done this before. Only you didn’t know it because-’

‘You were spying on us using magic?’

‘No, we’re not mages. At least, I don’t think..? 

She exchanged a look with Jacq. Jacq flung out her hands out towards Kya, splaying her fingers. Nothing happened.

‘Damn, no fireball,’ she sighed. ‘Guess we’re not mages.’

Kya glared at Jacq, looking as though she wanted to throw her own fireball her way.

‘Yeah, see? We’re not mages!’ Sam interjected. ‘We didn’t use magic-’

‘What, then?’ Kya snapped. ‘Do you expect me to believe a couple of mediocre bards like yourselves infiltrated our fortress? Or sent in little spies to monitor our operations?’

‘M-mediocre?’ Sam couldn’t help but feel a little stung.

Jacq looked affronted. ‘Did she just insult the good name of Leonardo DiCaprio?’

‘Not my point!’ Kya shrieked. ‘How did you come by this information? Tell me!’

It was clear she was reaching the end of her patience. Her staff was beginning to quiver from being held aloft for so long, and a deep burrow of consternation was etched into her brow. They were running out of time.

Sam closed her fists tight around the hemp rope binding them, grounding herself for a moment so she could think. How could they explain that they’d seen this story play out before, and knew where it was headed? That they knew all of these characters, some of them intimately, but they’d have no memory of them? How would Kya even begin to understand, it wasn’t as though she could even imagine anything remotely similar…

Then it came to her.

‘In Hushed Whispers,’ she breathed.

The pieces began to glue themselves together in her mind. Kya actually had experienced something like this. Around a year ago she would’ve chosen to pursue an alliance with the mages in Redcliffe, and in doing so the Venatori Alexius threw her into a horrific future in which everyone thought she was dead, and history had played out in accordance. Dorian was able to bring them back, but only she and Dorian had any memory of that potential future.

Sam and Jacq could’ve done the same. It would explain how they’d seen all of this happen, and had seen into the future, but nobody in this reality would remember them. It was perf-!

‘“In hushed wh-”, what did you say?’ Kya cut into her thoughts. ‘Speak up!’

‘I, uh, I mean,’ Sam stumbled. ‘In Redcliffe, you were transported through time by Alexius’s amulet, and you saw the future-’

‘A potential future, yes, and one that we prevented. What is your point?’

‘Well, we did the same thing,’ Sam’s mind raced to connect the dots. ‘We came across some Venatori, and we must have caught them doing some dodgy shit because they used that weird time magic on us.' 

Kya rolled her eyes. The grip on her staff went slack. 

Sam caught Kya’s staff. She felt her heart thumping a powerful drumbeat against her ribcage as she stared directly into Kya’s startled gaze. She needed Kya to understand.

‘My point is,’ she said. ‘We’ve seen what Solas can do. That’s why we came here; to warn you, and to help you find him. Before it’s too late.’

She refused to look away, or remove her grip from Kya’s staff. She finally saw a spark of fear break through Kya’s defences. She felt a thrill of triumph.

Leliana spoke first.

‘In another time, I gave my life to save yours,’ she mused in Kya’s direction, letting her bow string loosen and stowing her arrow. ‘A choice I would gladly make again, should the world fall without you. However, I would rather not take that chance.’

She moved to Kya’s side and laid a hand on Kya’s staff, bridging the gap between Sam and Kya’s clenched fists.

‘Let them help us.’

Kya looked like she was going to protest, but Leliana planted her feet square on the ground; a simple gesture to indicate she wasn’t budging.

Kya relented. She stared daggers in Sam’s direction before turning to Leliana.

‘Alright,’ she said. ‘I trust your judgement.’

She lifted her staff away from Sam’s chest. Both Sam and Leliana relinquished their grip with a relieved exhale.

‘I would hope you trust my judgement,’ Leliana smiled. ‘I am your advisor, after all.’

In a deft movement she drew a dagger from her belt and cut Sam and Jacq’s bindings free. They both lunged forward, gratefully placing a sizeable gap between themselves and the edge of the cliff. Sam massaged her wrists, just now feeling the ache from the rope’s strain.

‘I will rouse Josie at first light,’ Leliana continued. ‘She can introduce our new bard companions to our inner circle. We have to ensure they are kept close,’ she cast a sideways glance between Kya and Jacq, ‘for their protection.’

With that she swept for the door, gliding through it with the grace of a whisper. Then they were alone with Kya. 

Kya’s lips pressed together. Jacq’s eyes were on the ground, but Sam caught a smug grin creeping across her face.

It seemed they’d escaped Kya’s thunderous wrath. For now, at least.

Kya turned from them, folding her arms. She remained at the cliff’s edge, staring out into the valley. Sam noticed that the faint hint of dawn was beginning to colour the sky, painting sharper images into the rocky landscape and silhouetting Kya’s frame against a pastel canvas. She was the very picture of thoughtful stoicism.

Jacq waved into Sam’s peripheral vision to grab her attention.

‘What?’ Sam mouthed.

Jacq pointed at herself, at Sam, and then at Kya. She mimed strolling up to Kya and  pushing her off the edge.

Jacq gave Sam the thumbs up. ‘Good plan, yeah?’ she whispered.

Sam shook her head vigorously. She mounted a desperate, but silent, case for why this was a terrible, terrible idea. Jacq just shrugged.

‘Seems like an easy fix to me,’ she said.

As if sensing their conspiring, Kya chose that moment to turn around.

‘It appears we are to work together,’ she said, staring them down with the poise of a drill sergeant. ‘So I expect you to be forthright with me. If the future is as dire as you say, we must do everything we can to prepare.’ She searched their features carefully, as if trying to scan their thoughts.

‘There can be no secrets between us.’

Kya was addressing them both, but Sam knew that last comment was meant for her. There was no easy explanation for how Sam knew secrets as deep as Kya’s childhood, but she hoped that Kya’s fear of being exposed would be patient enough to wait out their usefulness to the Inquisition. Sam also hoped this wouldn’t end in torture.

She stepped forward and extended a hand.

‘All will be revealed,’ she said. ‘In time.’

Kya peered down at her outstretched hand, frowning, as though weighing her options. Finally she took Sam’s hand in her own.

It was an utterly surreal feeling, knowing that she was shaking hands with a figment of her imagination, turned to flesh and spite. Kya’s handshake was a little on the firm side and her palm felt worn, no doubt from days spent gripping and twirling a staff. They locked eyes, and for the first time Sam stared back with wonder, not fear. Up close she could see that Kya’s deep brown eyes held tiny flecks of gold, catching the light and glimmering with the fiery passion burning deep at her core. She held Sam’s blue-eyed gaze for a long time, as though sizing her up; trying to get the measure of exactly who Sam was as a person. Their hands were still enclosed.

Jacq cleared her throat in an exaggerated way. They immediately broke apart.

‘So,’ Jacq said. ‘I guess we’d better go catch up with Leliana. We wouldn’t want to _fall_ behind.’ She flicked the ghost of a wink in Sam’s direction.

Sam balked. She wordlessly begged Jacq to _please stop,_ hoping she could convey the message with her eyes alone.

Kya mercifully didn’t seem to catch Jacq’s meaning. ‘No doubt Leliana has already returned to the rookery,’ she said, absentmindedly tugging on a pair of gloves she produced from somewhere on her person. ‘Speak to the guards outside, they will escort you to meet Josephine at her office. Leliana would have briefed them, so they shouldn’t be too surprised that the two of you are still alive.’

Jacq glowered at her. ‘You’re too kind.’

‘ _Charitable_ , I would say,’ Kya shot back.

‘Uh-!’ Sam scrambled to interject, fearing Jacq may be about to cop a faceful of lightning. ‘And, um, would we be able to grab some clothes? We’ve been in these furs for a few days and they’re, ah, kinda stale. We don’t want to make a bad impression when meeting your team.’ 

‘That’s right,’ added Jacq. ‘We would love to _slip_ into something more comfortable.’

Sam coughed, pointedly.

Kya wrinkled her nose at them, but gave a small nod. ‘That can be arranged, although we must supply you with common clothes only. We don’t want to draw too much attention to your, _significant,’_ she said the word with disdain, ‘role in the Inquisition.’

‘Well that’s ok, isn’t it Sam?’ Jacq said. She looked at Sam but jerked her head towards Kya. ‘We don’t want to _push_ our luck.’

Sam darted forward and linked her arm with Jacq’s.

‘Anyway-thanks-so-much-we’ll-be-going-now!’ she blurted out, pulling Jacq towards the door. ‘Catch you soon I guess!’

‘Yes, you will,’ Kya said matter-of-factly. ‘I am meeting with my advisors at sundown. We must begin our plan of attack as soon as possible. You will be present, as we _may_ require your input.’

Sam bristled at this, but she hastily pasted on a fake grin. ‘Wouldn’t miss it!’ she cried, wrenching open the thick wooden door. ‘See you then!’

She marched Jacq across the threshold and let the door swing shut behind them. Once they’d stepped about 20 paces away from the nightmare chamber, Sam felt she could finally breathe again. That was an ordeal her nervous sensitivities were not at all equipped to deal with.

‘Well, we survived,’ Jacq said. ‘Thank fuck.’

Sam rounded on her. ‘Yeah, no thanks to you! Why must you antagonise Kya? Why?!’

‘Speak for yourself!’ Jacq answered. ‘How do you think we ended up here, hmm? “I know all your secrets, Kya! How’s that for motivation to murder us, Kya?!”’ Jacq gave an exasperated sigh. ‘Still think we should’ve just pushed her off the edge.’

They were reaching the guards stationed at the entrance to the jail, no doubt instructed to stand there so they would be well out of earshot. Sam winced.

‘If we’re gonna get through this Jacq, we need a solid plan of action...and I really hope you don’t end up being right.’

 

***~*~*~*~*~*~***

 

Josephine Montilyet was an entirely lovely lady, but for that time in the morning Sam felt she was decidedly too fast and too loud.

‘I do hope you find your new appointments suitable!’ she fretted, bursting through the door of their new quarters.

The moment she laid eyes on them that morning she’d insisted they be appropriately bathed, clothed and accommodated immediately. They went through a whirlwind of activity to prepare them for this moment, dazedly blinking at Josephine as she frantically appraised their new furnishings.

She’d placed them in a room above the courtyard, close to the stairs leading directly to her office, in an effort to make their future strolls to the war room less conspicuous. It seemed she couldn’t help herself with their clothing however, as their tasteful outfits were probably less discrete than Kya envisioned.

Jacq wore a long and swishy leather coat with an azure velveteen tunic underneath, complemented by matching leathery trousers with a seemingly unnecessary amount of buckles. Sam was similarly dressed, except she wore a fitted leather vest over a lustrous cotton tunic in deep red. She was pleased with wearing her favourite colour, as she was with the thick woollen scarf draped around her neck. It helped ward off the chill quite nicely. Their ragged snow shoes were replaced with smart-looking knee-length boots with a slight heel that made a satisfying click as they walked. Sam felt they looked quite professional, as though they were wearing the fantasy equivalent of corporate business attire.

Josephine stopped in front of them, tightly clutching at her clipboard and inspecting them.

‘How do you find your new garments? Are they to your liking? It was difficult to find decent wear for you at such an early hour, but I will speak to our tailor to ensure you will be properly outfitted for your stay. The Iron Bull informed us you were attacked by bandits on your journey from Orzammar, so if there is anything you need you let me know.’

Sam’s sluggish brain struggled to keep pace. She’d forgotten the lie they hastily crafted in nowheresville to explain their lacking possessions, and that they’d said they were from Orzammar. She made a mental note to keep better track of their ruse.

Jacq examined her new coat. ‘Our clothes are fantastic, thank you. In fact this coat looks just like my old one,’ she praised, with a front of sincerity. ‘You have truly outdone yourself, Josephine.’

Josephine’s cheeks flushed a pale shade of pink. ‘Oh, well, I am glad they are satisfactory,’ she gushed. ‘Now, I have a lot planned for us today. I need to show you around Skyhold, and there are some important introductions we need to make. I have arranged our schedule so that you can meet with our core members. I understand that you are already acquainted with Sera, and The Iron Bull, and Dorian...well, some may be indisposed,’ she finished, somewhat flustered.

Sam and Jacq smirked. Yeah they were _indisposed_.

‘Come,’ Josephine said, ushering them from the room. ‘There can be no delay! We have much to do before our war council this evening.’

She led them down to the courtyard, all the while filling them in on their itinerary.

‘I thought we might begin with our very own resident bard, Varric Tethras. No doubt you have heard of him in your trade?’

Sam felt a surge of excitement. ‘Oh god, Jacq!’ she squealed, grabbing her friend’s arm. ‘We’re gonna meet Varric!’

Jacq smiled at her encourgingly, but patted her hand as if to say _tone it down, dude._

Josephine chuckled. ‘I take it you are fans of Master Tethras?’

‘You could say that!’ Sam squeaked.

‘I love his Tale of the Champion,’ said Josephine. ‘But I must admit I was confused about which of the famous Hawke twins was the Champion of Kirkwall. That was until I met the Champion in person, of course.’

Jacq frowned. ‘Who’s the Champion in this universe?’ she asked Sam under her breath.

‘Rossybabes,’ Sam whispered.

‘Ross? Not..?’

‘Nah, sexy Hawke is the Champion in my canon universe.’

Jacq snorted. ‘I can’t believe you stuck with that name.’

‘Custom names in video games are a gift Jacq, and must be used to their full potential.’

They skirted around the edge of the courtyard, filing between Skyhold denizens beginning their day. Sam noticed a number of robed mages among them, armed with stacks of books and staffs strapped over their shoulders. She remembered ticking a box on the Skyhold upgrades to build a mage tower near the courtyard, and how disappointing it had been that the only changes were cosmetic. The mages were heading to a living, breathing mage tower. She’d have to sneak a peek some time.

Josephine guided them into a tight stone corridor that opened up into the main hall. Sam drew in a startled breath. The space was vast, its ceiling beams reaching dizzying heights. Light flooded in from the enormous stained glass window at the end of the hall, casting dappled technicolour patterns across the stonework and crowning the pointed Inquisitor’s throne. Heavy braziers illuminated the rest of the space, which was richly decorated in co-ordinated mauve banners and rugs with a gold trim. The Inquisition symbol was plastered everywhere, and onto everything, no doubt to remind the visiting nobles milling about exactly where they were at all times. That sort of thing was important to Kya.

They found Varric near the entrance of the hall, nestled in at the wooden bench close to the fireplace. It was comforting to see him in the spot they were used to visiting him in-game, giving another touch of familiarity to this impossible reality.

Varric was in the process of folding a sheaf of parchment into a shape that looked suspiciously like a paper aeroplane. He did not look up as they approached.

Josephine lay a hand on her hip and looked stern. ‘Another letter from the Merchants Guild, I take it? You know I cannot hold them off much longer.’

Varric frowned at his work. ‘Did you know Curly managed to fly one of these all the way from Vivienne’s balcony to the roof of the Herald’s Rest? That man spends far too long calibrating those trebuchets, all that engineering is giving him an unfair advantage.’

Josephine huffed. ‘In any case, I was hoping I could borrow a moment of your time.’

‘For you, I will spare it,’ Varric said, setting aside his pet project. ‘What can I do for you?’

‘Well, I would like you to meet a couple of very special guests of ours. This is Sam and Jacq,’ she indicated, Jacq giving a small nod and Sam an ecstatic wave. ‘They are bards, here to provide entertainment at the Herald’s Rest, and also to do some important work for us. Oh, and they are from Orzammar! No doubt you will have much to discuss. 

‘Not really, can’t say I’ve ever been,’ he looked them up and down, cocking an eyebrow. ‘I gotta say you’re both a little tall for Orzammar, what kind of work is there for a couple of humans down in the dwarven capital?’

‘Ah...’ Sam racked her brain. ‘Well, you know-’

‘Reaching for things from the top shelf,’ Jacq smirked.

Varric gave a hearty laugh. ‘Oh I like you,’ he said. ‘I can see us getting along just fine. Welcome to Skyhold.’

The next stop on their tour took them to the loft above the hall, where it seemed Vivienne had set up her very own parlour. There was more than one couch and a few plush armchairs, settled in between coffee tables and a few of ornate vases. The Lady herself sat elegantly displayed on one of the couches, cradling a book she was perusing with serene interest.

Josephine cleared her throat. ‘This is Vivienne, more widely known as Madame de Fer, First Enchanter of Montsimmard. We were truly honoured the day she arrived to assist us. 

‘Of course, my dear,’ Vivienne answered, rising from her seat. ‘I wouldn’t miss the chance to be a part of history, or dismiss my role in shaping it.’ 

She spotted Sam and Jacq, or more precisely, noticed Sam looking utterly besotted.

‘It-it’s s-so great to meet you,’ Sam garbled. ‘I-, we are truly blessed.’

Vivienne smiled. ‘Naturally, darling. Now, who might you be exactly?’

Josephine explained who they were and, in vague terms, their new job in the Inquisition. Sam continued to gaze with reverence at Vivienne as she chatted with Josephine.

Jacq gave her a nudge. ‘Why don’t you just straight up ask her to step on you, Jesus fuck,’ she hissed.

‘This is the best day of my life,’ Sam replied, lips barely moving. ‘Please don’t ruin it for me.’

Josephine then showed them the library, Dorian’s usual haunt, and the rookery where Leliana was busy at work. The many birds’ squawking and flapping made it difficult to hear, but they managed to catch most of what Josephine was saying. Something like, if they wanted to borrow a raven they need only ask, but Leliana may look over their correspondence to screen for possibly damaging information.

‘Got it,’ said Jacq. ‘So, if I wanted to send anonymous hate mail to the Prince of Starkhaven…’

‘I would find it amusing,’ Leliana smiled. ‘But I would advise against it.’

Next Josephine took them down to the stables where she introduced them to Horse Master Dennet, who walked them through the process of how to purchase or lease a mount from his stables.

‘This is all very helpful thank you,’ Jacq said. ‘But I have an important question for you.’

‘What is it?’ Dennet asked.

‘How...would one go about...taking the nug out for a spin?’

Dennet shook his head. ‘The battle nug is only lended for specific purposes, and only with express permission from the Inquisitor.’

Jacq humphed at Sam. ‘I hate your Inquisitor so fucking much.’

Their experience of meeting Blackwall in the barn by the stables was exceedingly less ardent than their time with Vivienne.

Josephine introduced him as Blackwall and not as Thom Rainier, confirming Sam’s prior knowledge that Kya ordered him to keep up the facade. They couldn’t help but glare sour-faced at him as Josephine rattled off his purported valuable contribution to their cause.

‘Hi _Blackwall_ ,’ Jacq spat. ‘It’s great to finally meet the brave _Grey Warden_ who joined the Inquisition.’

‘Yeah _Blackwall_ ,’ Sam added. ‘We’ve heard all about your _heroic_ exploits.’

Blackwall looked a little stunned and unsure how to respond to their sarcastic praise.

‘W-well thank you,’ he said carefully. ‘It’s always nice to get a compliment from a lady.’

‘Gross.’

‘Fuck off.’

‘Anyway!’ Josephine yelped. ‘We must be going now, I do apologise. There is so much to do today!’

Josephine hurried them out of the barn and into the small gathering of merchant stalls on the main Skyhold drag. Dotted among the crowd were a few merchants who waved to Josephine. She greeted them as they passed and encouraged them to visit the Herald’s Rest to watch Sam and Jacq perform.

‘Ooh I wonder what Taylor Swift song I can break out next!’ Sam said in an aside to Jacq, as a few of Josephine’s friends appeared enthusiastic about the suggestion to see them in the tavern. ‘Do you have another Leonardo DiCaprio movie at the ready?’

‘I would like it noted that I still hate this idea, but the good works of our boy Leo must not go untold.’

Later they scaled the ramparts, Josephine giving them a brief account of their guard patrol system and general security measures. Sam’s feet began to drag as they neared Cullen’s office, however. She did not want to meet Cullen.

‘I just don’t think we need meet him,’ she said, coming to a halt.

‘Cullen is the Commander of our forces,’ Josephine explained, confused. ‘I suppose you will see him tonight, but is there a particular reason for your reluctance?’

‘I just don’t care about Cullen to be honest,’ Sam answered definitively.

Jacq leaned into Josephine’s ear. ‘That’s a lie,’ she said in a perfectly audible whisper. ‘She cares a lot.’

Sam was aghast. ‘I do not!’

‘Yeah you do!’

‘I hate you Jacq!’ Sam said, storming off in the opposite direction to Cullen’s door.

‘No you don’t!’

‘Fuck you!’

They later ruled out meeting Cole the moment Josephine suggested it. They made up some kind of excuse about spirit-phobia.

‘I understand,’ Josephine said. ‘Speaking with a spirit, even one so sweet as Cole, can be unnerving.’

Unnerving yes, and if anything was going to blow their cover it would be a mind-reading spirit boy with zero filter. And even less social awareness, as Kya had decided to let him remain a spirit. Sam and Jacq made a silent agreement to avoid Cole at all costs.

Josephine walked them past the Herald’s Rest. ‘This place you know, of course. I am told you had quite the performance last night. I will have to come and see you sometime,’ she beamed. ‘Leliana and I also believe it would be best for you to have most of your meals here instead of the mess hall, that way Sera, The Iron Bull and the Charges will likely be around to help keep you safe. I will speak with Cabot to ensure you receive all food and drink free of charge.’

Sam and Jacq did a subtle fist-bump. ‘Fucken sweet!’

Then, just as it was time to meet Cassandra, Jacq suddenly disappeared. Sam excused herself, and after a moment’s searching found Jacq behind a nearby tree.

‘What are you doing man?’

‘Hiding.’

‘Why? I thought you were psyched to see the biceps?’

‘I’m not ready.’

They resolved to meet Cassandra at a later date.

By the time dusk rolled around Josephine had given them a thorough induction of the castle. She dropped them off at their quarters, Sam and Jacq groaning as they sat on their respective beds. They’d barely taken a load off all day.

‘I know you must be eager for tonight’s meeting,’ Josephine said, unfazed by their suffering. ‘But in the interests of discretion Leliana has arranged for one of her agents to escort you to the war room after dark.' 

‘Will we be going with or without the bags over our heads this time?’ Jacq asked.

Josephine cringed. ‘Ah yes, Leliana did mention that you had a less than warm welcome this morning, but I can assure you that this time we only want to ensure you are not waylaid. You are our honoured guests.’

Sam grinned. ‘No problem, we’ll be there with bells on!’

 

***~*~*~*~*~*~***

 

Sam and Jacq were fucking exhausted. 

Kya’s idea of their involvement in the war council was to have them sat in the corner in a couple of stiff wooden chairs, just hanging out in case they were needed. Kya and her advisors were bent over the large map splayed out on the war table, in the grips of the same circular argument they’d been stuck in for hours.

Sam couldn’t blame them. For all she and Jacq had divulged about the Dread Wolf and his ultimate goal that morning, they still couldn’t say where he was hiding, or even the full extent of his power.

Kya and her advisors had run the gamut of ideas, from full frontal assault (‘but where do we send our troops exactly?’) to staking out enemy lines (‘my agents have been searching for weeks and they’ve found no sign of him’) to courting noble allies to support their mission (‘the idea of pursuing a figure of Dalish legend would be fanciful for some, but completely ludicrous for most’). 

Sam was hugging her leg and resting her head on her knee. She felt as though her entire being was aching. They couldn’t have had more than a few hours sleep, somewhere between retiring to bed last night and being rudely awoken in the very early hours that morning. It was taking every scrap of willpower she had just to keep her eyes open.

Jacq had her arms crossed and was in a full pout.

‘I’m not drunk enough for this shit,’ she said. ‘Wish we could’ve hit up the Herald’s Rest before coming here.’

Sam considered her friend. ‘I’ve been meaning to ask you about that, actually. I thought you hated beer?’

‘I do, but see the thing is, when one is offered free booze, one is hesitant to decline,’ she said, stretching with a yawn. ‘Besides, if you drink the first one fast enough you won’t taste the rest.’

‘Fair call.’

They continued to watch helplessly as their company’s squabble dragged on. Sam let her eyes unfocus so that they became fuzzy shapes gesturing forcefully at each other.

‘Hey Sam.’

‘Yuh Jacq?’

‘This is a fucking waste of time. D’you think they’d notice if we just left?’

‘Probably not, but I don’t think it’s a good idea.’

‘Why not? They can be just as unproductive without us.’

‘True.’ Sam let out a long sigh. ‘I just wish there was more we could do to help...but even then I’m not sure we’d get a word in edgewise.’

Jacq’s eyes narrowed at her. ‘If you pull a Mother Giselle and start singing The Dawn Will Come I’m leaving.’

‘Oh hey! That could work-’

‘Don’t.’

It was Sam’s turn to cross her arms and pout. ‘Ok fine, I won’t.’

After what felt like another hour or so, Sam was starting to seriously consider Jacq’s proposal to simply vamoose. There was really nothing else they could add to the discussion, except that they knew Solas would appear in time for the upcoming Exalted Council. Except now that Kya knew about Solas she was directing all efforts and resources to taking him down, so the Exalted Council may not even go ahead.

Kya was in the midst of demonstrating an elaborate military operation with the help of miniature soldiers and siege weaponry she was pushing around the map. Cullen was pursing his lips in what she figured was polite skepticism. Her proposed strategy seemed to be one of extreme violence. Meet strength with strength, as it were.  

Her glowing green anchor blinked at her from across the room. She felt a pang of guilt. Solas was the only one who could remove the mark that was slowly killing her, but he may be less inclined to do so if they met him on the battlefield. The only way they could know for certain that he would remove the mark was if they let events play out exactly as they did in Trespasser.

Kya probably wouldn’t be happy about doing nothing before confronting Solas in a couple year’s time, because they wouldn’t be able do anything that would tip him off. And then what were they going to do when they found him? He had the power to turn people into statues with a single sparkly eye flash, had his own spy network, and he was amassing a growing number of followers. He essentially had his own army and may be too powerful to kill or even capture.

Solas had all of his chess pieces in place, ready to outmaneuver them at every turn. He may be too strong to take down personally, but if they somehow managed to remove all of his pieces...

Sam allowed herself a soft chuckle. The only type of warfare she had any experience in was in campaigning and elections. Jacq could attest to the many times she used to visit Melbourne as part of her previous jobs. She doubted the same kind of tactics would work in this situation, as campaigns are won with words, not weapons.

 _Although..._ she looked around the room, eyes settling on each individual in turn, _Jacq could craft the narrative, Cullen co-ordinates the field team, Josie handles partnerships, Leliana provides intel on the enemy’s campaign strategy, and Kya could be…_

‘The candidate!’

Jacq jerked awake, her head previously drooping in the process of dozing off. ‘The-, the what now?’

‘Jacq, I have an idea!’

‘Oh no, oh no Sam, no-!’

Sam jumped to her feet. ‘Cullen!’ she called out.

Cullen’s head snapped up in her direction. ‘Ah, yes Sam?’

Sam hated that her cheeks suddenly flushed at the sound of Cullen addressing her, but she pressed on. ‘How do you win a game of chess?’

Cullen’s brows furrowed thoughtfully. He stroked his chin. ‘Well, I know the King’s Gambit is a popular strategy, but I prefer-' 

‘Yes, exactly!’ she cut him off before he could launch into a lecture about chess maneuvers. ‘You corner the King!’

Kya frowned. ‘What are you on about?’

Jacq tilted her head at her. ‘Sam, what the fuck?’ she whispered.

Sam rubbed her hands together. ‘I know exactly what we need to do! What we need is a planning session.’

‘This _is_ our planning session!’ Kya argued.

Sam ignored her, bounding over to Josephine. ‘We’re gonna need a whole heap of butchers paper and pens, or, parchment and quills I guess. Do you know where I can find a stack of paper in Skyhold? Do you have a stationary cupboard?’

Josephine gaped at her for a moment, but then drew out her clipboard, flipping through the pages. ‘Well, I believe the Quartermaster will have our largest supply, although he will be unavailable until morning…’

‘No worries!’ Sam cried. ‘We’ll just have to reconvene then. Now, off to bed everyone! I want you all back here first thing!’

The room’s occupants greeted her directive with stunned silence. Sam paid them no mind, collecting Jacq and heading for the door.

‘Oh my god Sam, why?!’ Jacq groaned as they exited the room.

‘Because we’re gonna save Thedas Jacq, just you wait and see!’

‘Yeah, alright, but why did you have to go and tell them to meet up first thing tomorrow?’

‘We have to get started as soon as possible! There’s just so much to do…’

‘No, Sam!’ Jacq shouted. ‘Did you forget that “first thing” means dawn to these people?!’

‘Oh,’ Sam winced. ‘Yes, I did forget. Fuck.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY FUCK. THIS CHAPTER IS DONE. I CANNOT TELL HOW YOU HAPPY I AM THAT I HAVE FINALLY FINISHED THIS CHAPTER. I WILL TRY THO. I AM VERY EXTREMELY HAPPY YES GOOD. I HOPE THAT HAS BEEN SOME INDICATION.
> 
> I sincerely truly very much hope you enjoyed this chapter! I must again credit my great friend and housemate who was in the dream that inspired this fic. Not only has she been a big help and contributor with excellent ideas, but some of the character Jacq's dialogue are DIRECT QUOTES from her. She's a genius and awesome. Just FYI.
> 
> ON A VERY IMPORTANT RELATED NOTE: so my friend was like 'I'm liking my role as sidekick in this story' and I was like 'NO! THERE ARE NO SIDEKICKS IN THIS STORY! WE'RE LIKE MIGUEL AND TULIO, TULIO AND MIGUEL, MIGHTY AND POWERFUL GODS! (a la Road to Eldorado)'
> 
> I wasn't originally going to make a playlist for this fic because my taste in music is objectively terrible, but then I was persuaded by foxnonny and stitchcasual and I am forever grateful, and now please know that the song rec for this chapter is, of course, 'It's Tough To Be A God' from Road to Eldorado, in honour of Sam and Jacq and their ridiculous ruse: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdPI9xuUQKM
> 
> Also, interesting trivia! Did you know that historically archers carried their quivers at their hip and not on their back? If you are curious to know more please watch this fukn sick educational video I stumbled across one day and my life was forever changed: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEG-ly9tQGk&t=0s&list=FLeCQMbY1t7dydAhpqxb8jCA&index=4
> 
> Also also, so, the campaigning thing. I recognise that this story may not have gone in a direction you might expect. To this I say that, well, this story is based on the dream of a person who is, specifically, me. This is the person I am - I do activism and play Taylor Swift songs. 
> 
> Final note, I would like you to know that the chapter number has been finalised, and yes, I found a Taylor Swift song title for every single chapter. The chapters may not be at all related to the corresponding song, but the title just may have given me the lols. I would also like to note that I had the options of the songs "Fifteen" and "22" that I COULD HAVE used for chapters 15 and 22 BUT I DID NOT and I'm very proud of myself.
> 
> Thank you so, so, so so so so much for reading this fic! Honestly I am just, so blown away that anyone would read this, let alone post kudos or comments, especially considering I started this fic with the sole aim of entertaining a single person who is the friend who starred in my dream. Thank you for reading this and you're amazing and I appreciate you <3
> 
> As always, kudos, comments and constructive criticism are all highly welcome and thank you and you're great!!


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